Feel your heartbeat
by dream2bawrtr
Summary: "I'd like to make a drawing of you again, Christian… and don't be angry at me, please." Ana said softly." My inspiration needs to be fueled, and strangely YOU are that fuel."
1. Chapter 1

**Important NOTE:**

 **Hello all, so this was supposed to be a series of one-shots, but my muse decided otherwise.**

 **She decided to change this series ( the cinnamon one) into a full story starting with chapter 2, and move the first chapter ( this one) to another place.**

 **I plan on adding this one to my work I call 'Ditto'.**

 **You can find it on my list of stories on my profile.**

 **Thank you all.**

 **xoxo,**

 **J**


	2. At least she went out with a bang!

Disclaimer: I do not own Fifty Shades Trilogy

 **Note: I will update 'When did I become so numb?' this Saturday/ Sunday. ;)**

 **This is another drabble, you all.**

 **(One- shot ) Hope you like.**

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 **Drabble 2**

 **At least she went out with a bang!**

xxx [[[]]] xxx

 **.**

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...

Ana considered herself to be a witty, independent and feisty individual. So, when she encountered the nastiest thugs she had ever met in her life, she never imagined to end up in a ditch in the middle of nowhere. And when she said ditch, she literally meant DITCH. How come she was lying almost unconscious in this freaking ditch? Well, the reason was simple: it was her being so freaking stubborn. Her dad had warned her time after time.

"Ana, you shouldn't be _so_ stubborn. It could get you in _**big**_ trouble one day, dear."

And of course, Ana being Ana, did not listen to her dad's advice. If only she had followed everyone's advice… but she hadn't. So, now here she was in this ditch. At the moment, she was tasting the blood in her mouth, her head felt like it was about to explode, the ache so throbbing as if someone had hit her on her head with a brick.

Wait! Someone _did_ hit her head with said brick! Yup, it was one of those thugs who had done it. The other one jabbed her hard on her chin and she also felt blood trickling, or was it pouring, out of her knife wound on her right thigh. Damn it! At that moment, Ana really regretted not listening to her dad.

As a sigh escaped her torn, bloody lips, Ana also felt an unbearable pain at her left rib cage. What happened there again? Oh, yes! The first thug had kicked her at that particular spot, when she was lying on the gallery's cold, hard floor. For Ana, even just the act of breathing was oh so difficult at the moment. Well, if she died like this, at least she went out with a bang!

She was in such deep shit right now, literally in a ditch and yet she had the urge to burst out into laughter. The reason? Just being Anastasia Steele, the woman who thought that no matter her actions, she'd always find a solution. Ha! Well, the consequences of her actions _were_ disastrous at this very moment. And right then, it dawned on Ana that the joke was on her!

She wanted nothing more than to get the hell up, and walk home or hitch hike back to Seattle, but those options were impossible. Why? Because she was probably bleeding to death at the moment, unable to get up and get help for herself. As she tasted more of her own blood, Ana decided to say goodbye to this world. "Bye, bye world. I did have a great time with you." Were the last words leaving Anastasia Steele's swollen, bloody lips before it went dark before her very eyes.

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The sound of someone calling out to her from afar, made Ana attempt to open her eyes. But no matter how hard she tried, her eyes were acting stubborn as her and weren't cooperating! After the voice, (Gosh, that voice sounded so freaking raw, almost haunting) stopped calling out to her, she felt two hands lift her body up.

'No, no, no. Where are you taking me, person with the raw voice?' that was what Ana wanted to say, but she wasn't able to. So, she decided to stop trying.

With her eyes still closed, her voice stuck in her throat, Ana felt being carried by two strong arms. She still felt blood pouring or trickling out of her thigh, and wanted to tell this person that she was injured, but her voice was still uncooperative. Ana felt herself slipping away again, but then she heard that raw voice.

"Stay! Try to stay awake!" the man ordered, the tone of his voice so demanding, it sent chills up and down her spine.

"OK." She wanted to say, but she wasn't able to do so, so she nodded weakly.

In her opinion it took forever, but finally she felt that the man had stopped walking with Ana still in his arms.

Again, Ana attempted to open her eyes, but her fucking eyes failed her once again. While still having her in his arms, the man with the raw voice was busy with something. She heard a door unlock, and felt him move again, then Ana heard a soft thud. Oh, he had shut a door. So the man probably had brought her at his home? Well, that was what she assumed.

As the man carried her, Ana was certain that he was one strong dude! She wasn't overweight, but she wasn't petite either. She was in great shape, and had built up some muscles at the right places. So this man must be quite strong, if he carried her all the way to here… wherever here was, like she weighted nothing at all.

At one point, Ana's eyes finally fluttered open slowly. Her eyes weakly scanned the room, and it was then when the man laid her down on a small, but soft bed. She weakly looked up and was finally able to see the man with the raw voice. He was wearing black pants, and a T-shirt. As her hand slowly reached out to him, he looked at Ana, his piercing gray eyes… were they gray? Yeah, those were most definitely gray eyes— his gray eyes locking onto her blue ones.

"Tha… thank you, b… but I'm bleeding out. I need… need a doctor or a hospital." Ana managed to say, her voice so weak, her eyes beginning to fall shut once more.

In response, the man said." No! No doctor. I will do it."

As those words reached her ears, without her accord a loud sob escaped Ana's lips." It hurts… it hurts so much. Please, help me." she whispered, as her eyes locked onto his once more.

He nodded at that, and growled." I have morphine, you just stay with me! Don't slip away!"

If the pain wasn't unbearable, and if she wasn't that weak, Ana would have surely thrown a fiery comment his way. Who did he think he was?! Ordering her around like that?! Luckily for the man, she was too weak to act like her feisty self.

In the next minutes, Ana watched in awe how the man worked with his hands. The first thing he did was to give her the much needed morphine. Ana felt so relax, because of it and smiled from ear to ear. After that, he grabbed a scissor and cut open her expensive black jeans. She wanted to stop him, but she knew very well that he didn't have a choice. He had to get to her wound, and that was the fastest way. The second Ana's leg was free from her pants, he disinfected and dressed the knife wound.

Gosh, he was so good with those hands. Yes, her eyes stayed plastered on his hands, the feeling warm whenever they came in contact with her thigh, but Ana didn't dwell on it too long.

After the stranger had cleaned and dressed the wound on the back of her head, he locked eyes with Ana, his gray eyes piercing." Are you hurt elsewhere, Miss?! "he asked, the tone of his voice so cold it would put the coldest winter to shame.

And of course at that moment her voice failed her once more. Ana's eyes watered at hearing that, so the man said." Show me."

His voice was still so cold, the look in his gray eyes expressionless. And yet she was not afraid of him.

There was something about him that made her feel— she wasn't even sure why, but there was just something about him that made her feel… safe.

"Miss?"

O-kay… the gray-eyed man ordered Ana to show him, so she grabbed his hand and placed it over her injured rib cage. When her fingers collided with his hand, Ana saw a reaction in his gray eyes, a moment of shock. As if he couldn't believe that she even dared to _**touch**_ him. However, that moment quickly passed, because he wanted to tend to Ana's last injury.

The man grabbed the scissor and cut her pink blouse open, revealing her bare stomach and chest. It amazed Ana that he wasn't even reacting to her bare skin, or her lacy red bra. His eyes instantly were locked onto her rib cage. With his left hand he checked Ana's injury there, and then nodded, his brows furrowing." It's going to bruise tomorrow, but you'll be OK. Your ribs aren't broken."

As those words tumbled from his lips, Ana wondered how he knew so much about wounds and injuries. Was he a doctor? Though she doubted that, or maybe he was in a line of work where he had endured all kinds of wounds.

"So, uhmm, I… I will be fine?" Ana managed to say after a couple of minutes, her voice weak, while he tidied up the bedroom.

"Uhuh." He replied, not even looking at Ana, as he grabbed the white towel with her blood on it, the scissor and the rest of the first-aid kit.

At hearing that one simple word, Ana felt so relieved, her blue eyes fluttering shut gradually, while letting out a deep breath. It didn't take long before she drifted off to sleep, her mind lingering on the man with that voice so raw and those eyes so expressionless.

But before Ana fell into a very deep sleep from exhaustion, her pretty blue eyes landed on his gray ones, and she said. " Thank you… for helping me. M… my name is Ana. So, what's your name, sir?"

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 **Note: Thank you for reading drabble number 2, you all.**

 **And thank you so much for reviewing the first one... :) Yay!**

 **xoxo,**

 **J**


	3. I'll show you

Disclaimer: I do not own Fifty Shades Trilogy

* * *

 **Note: This is a continuation of Drabble 2 ( previous one-shot)**

 **I could not help myself. Haha. :p**

 **Enjoy**

* * *

 **One-shot 3**

 **I'll show you**

xxx [[[ ]]] xxx

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* * *

 ** _Ana always hated the taste of cinnamon on her tongue. Whenever her mom baked cinnamon pancakes when she was little, she used to have the urge to throw up after eating even just one bite of the pancake. When she grew older, Ana attempted to eat cinnamon a couple of times. All two times she failed miserably._**

 ** _Ana tried cinnamon rolls, when she was around twelve years old and a piece of cinnamon cake on her friend's birthday in college. Without her accord those two itty bitty bites ended up in the trashcan as soon as they connected with her taste buds._**

 ** _So, the last time she tried cinnamon anything was approximately eleven years ago._**

…

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.

.

As her eyes fluttered open, the first thing Ana heard was the all familiar sound of a whistle— was it time for tea?

The second thing she noticed was the smell of fresh baked pie? Seriously? Where was she? At her grandmother's? What? Where? Ana couldn't quite place where she was at the moment.

 _As the wheels in her head started to turn, she recalled bits and pieces of the night before. She remembered being ambushed by those three thugs. Two of them attacked her, while Hyde watched with a satisfied look on his face._

 _Asshole!_

" _Tell me where it is?" he growled, not even giving Ana a chance to answer his question. He sure enjoyed seeing her suffer on the gallery's cold floor._

Ana wanted to remember more, however her mind was blocking her from recalling the rest. So, she looked around. The bedroom she was in was oh so unfamiliar.

"What have you gotten yourself into, Anastasia Steele?" were the words that tumbled from her lips.

Her eyes scanned her surroundings till it ended up on her body. She was lying in a small, soft, yet surprisingly very comfortable bed. OK. How did she end up here again? To be honest, she could not for the life of her, remember anything else.

After those thugs had left her for dead, did someone bring her here? She shook her head, and it was then when she noticed that she wasn't wearing her own clothes. What the hell? She furrowed her brows, and began to feel up her own body. OK, on the back of her head she felt a thick bandage. That's one. Her small fingers automatically went to her rib cage... she pulled the over-sized shirt up and saw the bluish/ purplish bruise on her skin. OK, that's two.

Then her eyes darted towards her right thigh. Damn! That one still hurts like a motherfucker! That's the third one. Her whole thigh was covered with a wide, thick bandage.

'So, am I able to walk on it?' She wondered, and pulled the over-sized shirt down, covering up her body. As a sigh escaped her lips, Ana placed her hand on her mouth and felt that her lips were swollen. OK, that doesn't count.

She was an independent young woman, always had been since she was 21, so at the moment she felt what she hated the most in her life; feeling powerless. She couldn't even get up and stand on her own two feet, let alone walk out this bedroom. As she attempted to push her tears back, Ana thought about her situation. So someone _did_ get her out of the ditch she was in, and had brought her here and had taken care of her.

That someone must be a very kind person to do that, considering she was a total stranger to the person. Apart from that, the person had cleaned her body, and changed her clothes. She remembered clearly that she was wearing a black pair of jeans, a pink blouse, and a black leather jacket the night before. And here she was in this white over-sized shirt.

As a sigh escaped her lips, Ana pondered trying to remember more of the night before.

"Oh boy!" she uttered, when she remembered one detail.

The man with the piercing, gray eyes and that cold, harsh voice!

Crap! Now she remembers!

So if the owner of the shirt was the one who saved her, then it meant that _a man_ had cleaned her up and changed her clothes.

Damn! Crap! Damn it! A stranger had seen her naked! Ugh!

Well, that's not important now. Right? Cause the man had saved her life… She remembered her thigh wound clearly, as blood trickled or poured out from it. At that, she let out a breath, and decided to call the man. Ana wanted to thank him in person.

"Hello! Anyone out there! I'm so thirsty. Can you bring me a glass of water, please?" She exclaimed, the tone of her voice two pitches higher than normal.

She waited, and after a minute or two, Ana heard loud footsteps coming her way.

'OK, let me see how this man looks like in the daylight… the man who saved my life and had taken care of my injuries.' She thought.

As the door swung open, Ana's breath caught in her throat. OMG. This man was the one who had saved her? The look on his face was a bit frightening. He was tall, and broad, his hair was short, and he looked so serious!

Ana wondered if he even knew what a smile was, let alone a laugh.

The second her blue eyes met his gray ones, she was reminded how he had taken care of her injuries, his hands warm to the touch.

Yes… the man with that raw, cold voice and those eyes so expressionless. The man who had prevented her from dying, the night before.

"Thank you, sir. For saving my life." Ana said, her voice sounding so strange in her own ears, and then her eyes lingered on the bottle of water in his hand." Can I please have some water?"

The gray-eyed man nodded, and closed the gap between them with large strides. He sat on the bed without saying a word, and helped Ana take a couple of swigs from the bottle.

"Do your lips hurt?" he asked, while his piercing eyes locked onto hers.

Ana shook her head in response." No, but my thigh and rib cage do hurt like a m— I mean… they both hurt severely, the pain is almost unbearable. But I'm a big girl, I'll manage." she said, but right after those words left her lips, she felt that gut wrenching pain again." However, do you maybe have some painkillers for me?"

The man furrowed his brows, nodded and walked out the door without saying a word. When he was back, he gave Ana the pills and water. She happily thanked the man and gladly took in the pills.

The gray-eyed man watched her like a hawk, but stayed quiet for a while.

Ana smiled at him, and asked." Aren't you gonna ask how I ended up in that ditch?"

"No." he replied, his voice cold.

Just like the night before... his tone was still the same. Just as cold and uncaring...

And yet, here she was clean, her injuries taken care of, and awake after a very good night sleep… in his over-sized shirt, she must add.

So, Ana concluded that the man wasn't as uncaring and cold as he wanted to appear.

"Thanks again though, for saving my life. I don't know how I'll ever be able to repay you." Ana said, and placed her small hand on his right hand.

There it was again! The same look in those gray eyes, shock and disbelief, because she had touched him.

He then tore his hand from Ana, and stood up. "I bought breakfast. You can freshen up first if you want, I'll wait for you." He announced, the look on his face still so serious.

'So… he didn't like it, when someone touched him?' were the words that bounced inside her skull, as she watched the man.

Wonder why…

Ana was very curious, but didn't want to ask him about it. Why not?

Well, she was still a stranger to him. She didn't think it was appropriate to ask him such personal things.

"OK, I do want to freshen up… but first, can I use your phone, please? I have to call my loved ones and inform them that I'm… alive" She said instead, her eyes pleading.

"You should have breakfast first." He demanded, and she almost told him that he shouldn't be telling her what to do.

However, Ana held herself back. 'You need him! Don't piss him off!' She reminded herself.

So, Ana nodded instead, and shifted on the bed, attempting to get on her feet. The gray-eyed man helped her up, and then they both walked to the bathroom. It was large, and very clean. After she had brushed her teeth, Ana washed her face and walked out the bathroom with the man's help.

(luckily the man had a spare tooth brush… as she looked around; the man had a spare for almost everything he owned. Guess he liked to be prepared?)

"Do you like tea?" he asked, the tone still cold and uninviting.

Ana nodded, and leaned with all of her weight on the man, because her thigh hurt like hell." Yes, I love tea. More than I love coffee. What's for breakfast?" she asked, but he didn't reply.

Ana wanted to roll her eyes at the man, but smiled instead and asked once more." What will we have with the tea? Do you have croissants?"

The man shook his head and said with that oh so familiar cold tone of his." No, I don't have croissants..."

"What then?" Ana asked, as they walked out the bedroom door.

"I'll show you." He replied, and helped her sit in a chair in the big, old-fashioned kitchen.

In response, Ana bit the insides of her cheeks; she _hated_ surprises. And as she watched him grab the brown paper bag from the counter, she waited impatiently as her stomach began to growl.

"I'm Ana… what's your name, Sir?" she asked, and observed his face.

He was quite handsome, if you look passed the stubble and the serious face.

"Christian…" he replied, and grabbed a plate and poured a cup of tea for Ana.

"Thank you for saving my life, Christian…" she said, and smiled at him.

However, he did not reciprocate it.

"Eat, Miss…" he told her instead, while handing over Ana her breakfast.

She accepted it and thanked him. But when she had opened the box, and saw what was inside, her eyes widened and she thought.' Oh, no! Seriously?!'

Cinnamon rolls! Ugh!

Ana then placed a hand over her face, and he asked." What's wrong? Why aren't you eating? There's a lot more if you want…"

* * *

 **Note: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing.**

 **xoxo,**

 **J**


	4. Why must you be so stubborn?

Disclaimer: I do not own Fifty Shades Trilogy

* * *

 **Note: This is a continuation of 'I'll show you' ( the previous chapter)**

 **I could not help myself. Haha. :p**

 **Enjoy**

* * *

 **Why must you be so stubborn?**

xxx [[[ ]]] xxx

* * *

 **... The next evening ...**

 **.**

Since she was ten years old, Ana had two passions in her life: Art and taking photos. On her ninth birthday, she received a canvas, oil paint, paint brushes and an easel from her mom as a birthday gift. When she turned ten years old, her father gave Ana a camera on her birthday. She loved doing both things, never able to choose between the two. She became a professional photographer; however Ana never gave up on her artistry. So, she painted or drew anywhere and whenever she had the time to do so. In her back pack, she always carried her tools and sketchbook and drew the second she felt inspired.

The moment Ana felt inspired, she completely disappeared in a bubble, in her own world— her fantasy, not being able to resist it, while she shut everything around her out in the process. When in that bubble, no one and nothing could disturb her.

It was late in the evening, when Ana woke up, having the wonderful urge to draw. At this very moment inspiration hit her full on. It amazed her, wondering where that urge came from, because lately she had lost her inspiration to paint or draw.

As she shifted on the bed, Ana attempted to be very quiet, because she didn't want to wake up her temporarily housemate. He had been specific about her not moving too much, only doing so when it absolutely was necessary. She didn't like being ordered around, but she knew that he was right. And from his actions up until now, Ana knew that he was the kind of man who took things seriously, especially her injuries. She grabbed the crutch the gray-eyed man had given her, and walked carefully out of the bedroom. With her sketchbook, and pencils in one hand, she walked quietly with the crutch towards the living room. As she took a seat in the old, but comfortable chair, Ana scanned the place with her eyes in search of something to draw.

There wasn't much that could fuel her inspiration more, but then her blue eyes landed on Christian. He was peacefully sleeping on the large, comfortable couch.

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 ***** Flashback *****

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 **.**

 **.**

 _Ana was watching Christian, as he ate the cinnamon rolls that were on his plate._

 _"Aren't you going to eat?" he asked, as he took a huge bite of his breakfast._

 _She shook her head, and drank her tea instead." No, I'm not hungry." Ana lied, but then at that exact moment her stomach growled._

 _He looked at her, and asked. "You don't like cinnamon rolls?"_

 _"It's not exactly that I don't like it… let's say it doesn't like me." Ana replied._

 _"So, what does that mean exactly?" he asked, and furrowed his brows." Are you allergic?"_

 _Ana didn't want to explain, so she lied once more." Yes, I'm allergic."_

 _"OK, I'll go to the diner and get you something else to eat, when I'm done." He commented, and went on having his breakfast._

 _It was then, when she realized that she didn't know anything about the man. Ana decided then to begin with something small, because he looked like the brooding type, quiet, not very talkative._

 _"So… my full name is Anastasia Steele. What's your full name, Christian?" she asked, her blue eyes fixed on him._

 _The man instantly stopped eating, and stared at Ana. She saw how he clenched his jaw, and noticed how his body language had changed. When he was busy eating, he looked relaxed, but now it was all tense._

 _"Mister, I am not asking you for your credit card pin number, I'm just asking what your full name is." Ana said, as she locked eyes with him." It's just a simple question, you know. One I think you can answer without being suspicious."_

 _He didn't reply, and instead looked at her with those piercing gray eyes. In response, Ana all of a sudden felt so uncomfortable, as if he was dissecting her, attempting to read her. She felt so exposed at that moment, even though her body was covered with his oversized shirt. He was assessing her right then, taking his time, making Ana feel anything but at ease._

 _At a certain point, she had enough of him staring at her, and was just about to throw a feisty comment his way, when he said." Christian Grey, my full name is Christian Grey…"_

 _She smiled at that, glad that she finally knew a bit more about the man. " Well, Christian Grey, it's a pleasure to meet you. And I know I've said a couple of times already, but I wanna thank you from the bottom of my heart for saving my life." She commented, her voice filled with gratitude._

 _"Uhuh." He replied, and went on with eating his breakfast._

 _Ana's mouth fell slightly open, as she watched how he devoured his food, making her instantly lose her appetite completely. She wondered why he all of a sudden was in a hurry, because he was shoving down the cinnamon rolls into his mouth as if someone was after him._

 _"So… uhumm, you said that you're gonna get me something else to eat?" Ana asked, as she watched him._

 _"Uhuh." He replied, and wiped his mouth with a napkin._

 _"Can you also get me two kinds of pencils and a sketchbook, one I can draw on?" she asked a bit tentative, wondering if he would say yes._

 _"Fine." He said, and nodded." Just write it down for me which kind."_

 _In response, Ana sighed in relief, a wide smile appearing on her pretty face. She was testing him, wanting to see if he would be suspicious of her like before. Now that she got this far, she decided to ask something else." Christian?"_

 _He looked up at her, and raised an eyebrow." Uhuh?"_

 _"Where am I? Because I looked at our surroundings and I don't recognize it at all. Am I still in Washington?" She said and looked at him questioningly._

 _Christian shook his head and said." Nope, we're in Oregon."_

 _Ana's eyes widened at hearing that." What! In Oregon? What the hell am I doing here? How did I get here! Seriously?" she stood up and shouted at Christian._

 _He followed Ana's reaction, and he simply said." Miss, I don't know how you got here… all I know is that I found you in a ditch 300 meters from here. I know nothing more."_

 _Ana groaned aloud, and attempted to walk away." I have to get out of here! I must go home; back to Seattle. My family must be worried sick about me!" She said, and took a couple of steps, but then she stumbled, and almost fell, the pain in her thigh excruciating._

 _In a blink of an eye Christian was at her side, and grabbed her roughly, managing to hold her against him, and breaking her fall in the process. His right hand was on Ana's hip, while his left one was gripping her on her waist. Ana gasped softly, the feel of his tight grip on her a bit painful, digging onto her delicate flesh._

 _"Ouch" she uttered, and then their eyes locked._

 _Christian instantly moved his hand till it ended up on her upper arms instead." Sorry... You OK?" He asked, as he stared into her pretty bright, blue eyes._

 _She nodded, and said." Yes, can you let go of me now?"_

 _._

 _._

 _._

 _ **~ Some time later ~**_

 _ **.**_

 _"Christian, I have to at least call my dad and my work place to inform them that I'm fine. Can I use your cell phone?" Ana asked._

 _He furrowed his brows in response, as if he wasn't sure if she was being sincere or not._

 _"You do have one, right?" Ana asked, as she grew impatient with the man._

 _"No, I don't have one."_

 _What the hell? Where has this man been living? Under a rock, in a cave or something? She wondered._

 _"And why not?" Ana asked flabbergasted._

 _"Cause I don't need one." he simply said, and stared at her._

 _"OK, uhmm… then I have to go, I must go back home... right now. Do you have a car?" she asked, looking at him with hopeful eyes._

 _Christian shook his head, and said." I used to... don't have them anymore..."_

 _Ana rolled her eyes in response, and groaned." Then what do you have?!" she shouted, and glared at him, frustrated at the fact that those thugs had dumped her all the way in fucking Oregon!_

 _"I don't understand why you are angry with me." Christian said, and looked at Ana with those piercing eyes._

 _She sighed deeply, and placed her face in her hands, covering it from his vision." I'm sorry… I'm not angry with you. I'm just frustrated, because I need to get back home." Ana replied, and then looked up at him." Don't get me wrong, I really appreciate everything you've done for me, Christian. I do, but I have to go back. People are waiting, and surely worried about me. You do understand that, right?"_

 _Christian nodded at that. " Let your thigh heal first. Give it three days, then I will make sure that you get home."_

 _"But three…" she began, but he cut her off._

 _"In the meantime, I will see if I can buy you a disposable phone." he told her." You have to listen to me, because I know these kinds of injuries. You should rest the leg, so it can heal properly. I did not take care of it, using my supplies— even though I barely had enough, so you can tear open the wound again by moving it too much. Don't be so stubborn." He scolded her, as his gray eyes bored into Ana's._

 _She huffed at that, and was pissed at him for talking to her in that manner. Yet, she decided to hold herself back, because she still needed the man! Ana wasn't happy with the fact that she had to wait three long days before going back home, but at least he will get her a phone." OK, I think I can live with that. Sure." She replied, her hands clenched into fists, while glaring at Christian. "So, you will go to the store now and buy the phone and a sketchbook?"_

 _Christian nodded, and got up from the chair." Uhuh. Stay here, and don't put any pressure on your leg. I'll be right back. OK?" He said, and stared at Ana for a few moments._

 _"Of course I'm gonna stay right here." She said with a sarcastic tone, expecting a response from him._

 _However, he was already walking out the door." Not that I can go anywhere! You don't even own a car!" Ana fired at him, while feeling very discontent._

 _As she waited for Christian, Ana bit the insides of her cheeks, her brows furrowing. 'What happened to me? Usually I'm so fast with the witty or fiery remarks. Lately I've become so freaking slow in that department.'_

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 **** End of FLASHBACK ****

 **.**

Yup, that happened that morning...

While Ana looked for something to draw, she thought about Christian. For a weird, quiet, and brooding looking guy, he sure was a man of **deeds** , not words. Christian had kept his promise and provided her with a sketchbook and pencils, and more importantly a disposable phone, so she was able to call her dad and the gallery. _Ana explained where she was at the moment, but didn't go into detail. Her dad and the people from her work asked her a dozen questions, but Ana kept the two phone conversations short, promising them that she would be back home within a week or so._

As Ana's eyes landed on Christian's sleeping form once more, it stayed locked on him. Her hand automatically began to move. With the pencil in her right hand, she took a better position in the chair, and began to draw. She studied every single feature on Christian's face, beginning with those closed eyes, those lashes as they gently rested on his face, his short locks, those cheek bones so sharp, she swore that it could probably cut glass effortlessly, his thick eye brows, his well-formed nose, those smooth lips, and last but not least, his well-defined jawline…

When he wasn't asleep, his piercing gray eyes were the only things Ana noticed and focused on, the rest of his face almost forgotten. But now that he's asleep, she definitely noticed everything else Christian was blessed with by the heavens above. And boy, was he blessed with a face like that!

Only when he was asleep, while his whole body relaxed, she noticed him this way. Right now, Ana didn't see him as the man who had saved her life or as the man who had a frightening appearance. At this very moment Ana looked at him not as Anastasia Steele, the professional photographer, but as Ana the artist. And as an artist, it dawned on her that Christian was a very beautiful man, one that she had to immortalize on paper.

As the pencil glided over the sketchbook, Ana got sucked into that bubble of hers. She noticed everything about Christian, drawing him effortlessly as he slept on the couch. It helped that it was late at night, the ticking of the clock the only sound that reached her ears. As the drawing on the paper took its magnificent form, it inspired Ana more to do this man justice. Ana poured all of what she saw in him on the sketch book, while bringing it to life, the masterpiece in her hands so beautiful it made a tear roll down her cheek without her even noticing it.

Ana didn't know what exactly caused her to have such an extraordinary feeling and flow in her fingers, giving her the ability to create and deliver such fine work. Was it her gratitude towards Christian for saving her life, or just the mere fact that he was able to inspire her artistry without even knowing it? Well, at the moment she did not have an answer to that question.

All she knew at this moment, was that the man who was sleeping on the couch had given her back the inspiration she had lost months ago.

"Thank you, Christian Grey." Ana whispered, as a genuine smile appeared on her pale, chapped lips.

.

.

.

The next morning, Ana awoke by someone shaking her harshly on her upper arm.

Crap! It was the gray-eyed man… he had discovered her sleeping in the old chair in the living room. Her eyes were still closed and yet she knew that Christian must be freaking pissed right now.

Why? Ana didn't listen to the man and had gotten out of his bed last night. His hand on her arm made her shiver, his grip on her delicate flesh harsh, even though his fingers didn't connect with her skin, the fabric of the over-sized shirt in between.

"Miss!" she heard the man say.

Ana slowly opened her eyes and stared right at two angry-looking, unforgiving gray eyes.

"You moved," He stated." I told you countless times not to do it, and yet you did."

She gave Christian an innocent smile, and said." Oops?"

In response, he gave Ana a very disapproving look and asked. "Why _must_ you be so stubborn?!"

* * *

 **Note: Thank you all so much for reading my work, and for reviewing! :)**

 **Hope you like this one.**

xoxo,

J


	5. Why did you do that?

_Disclaimer: I do not own Fifty Shades Trilogy_

 **Important NOTE:**

 **Hello all, so this was supposed to be a series of one-shots, but my muse is being a bit**

 **stubborn like Ana in this story. hehe... ;)**

 **So, I've decided to change this series into a full story starting with chapter 2, and move the first chapter to another place.**

 **I also have changed the TITLE of the story.**

 **Hope you enjoy...**

* * *

 **Why did you do that?**

xxx [[[]]] xxx

...

* * *

 _"You moved," He stated." I told you countless times not to do it, and yet you did."_

 _She gave Christian an innocent smile, and said." Oops?"_

 _In response, he gave Ana a very disapproving look and asked. "Why must you be so stubborn?!"_

"Ugh." Ana knew that she was busted and really didn't have an explanation for the man.

She had always been this stubborn… it wasn't something new. Her stubbornness was the reason she ended up in the ditch and was brought here by the gray-eyed man…

Ana let out a deep breath, and shook her head. Boy, was she in trouble now. Christian was staring at her again with those cold, piercing, unforgiving gray eyes… Whenever he did that, Ana wanted nothing more than wish for the earth to swallow her whole.

"Please don't look at me like _that_." She managed to say.

"You moved." He repeated." I specifically told you not to do it!"

Ana groaned aloud, and sat up." I know! I know! You told me not to, and yet I did it. It's not like it's the end of the world, Mr. Voice colder than winter." She blurted out, and then attempted to get up.

Christian glared at her, and gently placed a hand on her shoulder." Stay right there."

At that very moment Ana had the urge to scream! He was so freaking… infuriating!

"I have to pee!" she said, the tone of her voice a pitch higher than usual.

He stared right at her and said." Well, it's your own fault. You didn't listen to me. Now look at your wound."

In response, Ana's eyes darted towards her thigh. She gasped loudly at the sight… she was bleeding through the over-sized shirt Christian had given her. It seemed like she had torn out her stitches, the fabric of the shirt had observed her blood.

At that very moment Ana felt like a schoolgirl being scolded by her teacher. But in this case, Christian had been right. She shouldn't have moved…

Shit!

"Does it hurt?" she heard him say.

Ana shook her head at that." No."

"I have to get some more supplies to stitch you up once more," Christian pointed out." I have to look at your wound first."

Ana nodded and gave him an apologetic look." OK, I'll walk to your bed." She said and got on her feet.

"No!" she heard him say." You'll bleed more."

She let out a breath and locked eyes with him." Then _how_ am I going to ge…" Ana began, but stopped mid-sentence, because of what Christian did next.

In one swift motion he scooped her up from the floor, making her yelp softly, while she automatically clung onto him. Christian then carried Ana towards the bedroom with big strides. With wide eyes she looked at him, noticing how he didn't even have to put any effort carrying her weight.

Gosh, he's strong…

Christian gently placed her on his bed, and sat in the chair." I have to look at your wound." He stated, his gray eyes locking onto hers.

She nodded at that." Yeah… of course."

As he furrowed his brows, Christian carefully pulled the over-sized shirt up. Ana's eyes instantly fluttered shut and waited.

"How bad is it?" she asked, afraid of his answer.

"Miss, you can open your eyes." He ordered.

She did and looked down at her thigh. Crap!

"It looks really bad!" Ana pointed out." I'm really sorry for not listening to you."

He let out a deep breath and inspected her thigh once more." You'll be fine." He commented, the look on his face serious." Just stay here and I'll get supplies to take care of the wound."

He gently pulled the shirt down, covering her legs and then got up from his seat.

"Wait here. I'll be right back," He commented, and locked eyes with her." And do _not_ move!"

The last four words were said so harshly, making a shiver go up and down Ana's spine.

"I won't." She squeaked, and covered her face in shame.

It was her own fault that she was in this predicament! He was _right_ …

Why in heaven's name did she have to be _so_ freaking stubborn all the time?!

Christian was just about to walk out the bedroom door, when Ana felt nature calling.

"Wait! Christian..." she said, and looked up at him, grinning shyly.

"What is it." he said and looked at Ana, his brows scrunched together." What's wrong?

She cleared her throat, and nervously tugged lightly at a lock of her hair." You said that I cannot move, but uhmm… I… I uhmm.."

He became very impatient and clenched his right hand." Miss! If you do _not_ tell me _**now**_ what it is that you wa…" he began, but she cut him off.

"I have to pee!"

* * *

 **... Twenty minutes later ...**

.

As Christian walked towards the nearest store to buy the gauze, bandages and the rest of the essentials to fill up his first aid kit, all kinds of different thoughts swirled and bounced inside his head.

The woman. She was so… no matter how hard he tried, Christian couldn't for the life of him, explain what he thought about her.

He noticed that she was kinda cute, nothing special about the woman's face though. Christian _did_ wonder how she ended up in the ditch. However, when she had asked him if he was interested in knowing how she ended up there, he said no.

That wasn't important to him. It shouldn't...

Right now, all he cared about was to survive, to stay alive and stay under everyone's radar.

That included his mother and siblings.

 _Christian used to have a very difficult time separating real life and his traumatic past. However, since he decided to leave Seattle two years ago and settled here in Oregon, life got better for him. Yes, his name was indeed Christian Grey and he could never change that._

 _He wished he could though. He came from a prominent family, his mother one of the wealthiest women in the whole Seattle area. Christian had studied International Business and graduated cum laude, but eight years ago decided to join the NAVY instead._

 _His mom and siblings were still searching for him, although he had told them during their last conversation that he needed to be alone for a while._

 _"I need the space... I need to breathe, mom... just let me be for now..."_

 _Yes, that conversation happened one year ago, and he was still living here in a small town in Oregon._

 _He used to be a Navy SEAL officer. And during his missions as a Special Operations Combat Medic (SOCM), he had saved countless lives, but at a certain point Christian was unable to deal with all the bloodshed._

 _He had PTSD, and even after being welcomed home by his family and receiving the best treatment, he was unable to cope._

 _Normal life was the least that Christian needed... And yet his mother requested his assistance._

 _At the time his mom planned on retiring and had asked... no, she had begged him to take over the family business._

 _However, after being CEO for only three months, Christian discovered that normal life was not for him anymore. So, one Monday morning Christian woke up, got dressed, had breakfast and after, he sold everything he owned. He sold his two vacation homes, his mansion, his cars, and even the helicopter._

 _At the time, his mom and siblings were abroad on vacation. So there was no one who could've prevented him to do so._

 _Christian desperately needed to be in a peaceful place, so in time he could return to his old self again. That man who he used to be, who used to enjoy life and who was able to show affection, friendship and love was nowhere to be found... he was lost and all Christian wanted was to find him again..._

 _The next day, after he sold his possessions, Christian went to the bus station and took the first bus out of Seattle. He didn't care where he ended up... he just wanted to lead a life without any stress._

 _When the bus came to a halt, everyone stepped out, so did Christian._

 _He had arrived in Oregon, and wondered what to do next. After he had lunch in one of the diners, he bought some clothes for himself. A couple of Henley shirts, a couple pair of jeans, dark brown and black pants, and of course two sets of gloves._

 _The owner of the store, a nice old lady, noticed that he was new in town and had asked where he was staying._

 _Christian told her the truth and replied that he had no place in mind. It was then, when she gave him a flyer. He immediately called the number on the flyer, using the shop owner's phone. (he had destroyed his own cell phone and threw it away)_

 _There was a decent-sized house for rent, one that he immediately liked because it was only a twenty minute walk from and to town._

 _The owner was also an elderly, a man in his mid-sixties, and had looked at Christian from head to toe, as if he didn't trust him._

 _"Deidre send me to you." Christian had told the old man._

 _That made him smile widely and nod. He didn't say much after that and gave Christian the keys to the house. The man accepted the money, not even asking questions why Christian had given him cash for three months' rent._

 _The moment the old man drove away, he grabbed the bags with clothes and walked back into the house. He immediately walked into town once more and bought groceries, soap, toothpaste, toothbrushes, and the rest of the essentials._

 _The house had just one bedroom, a large kitchen, a living room, one bathroom, and a closet. When he had put everything in its place, Christian took a seat on the bedroom floor and waited._

 _What for? He wasn't sure, but still it took him three days before he allowed himself to fall asleep._

 _There was a very comfortable looking bed, and yet Christian slept on the cold, hard floor. There was just something about the cold that he liked very much…_

 _He kept to himself, only having very short conversations with Deidre, when he went into town. The last thing he wanted was to attract any attention to himself… Christian did not want his mom to find him... not yet anyway._

 _He was not ready._

 _At night, when he slept on the cold, hard floor instead of the comfortable bed, he experienced horrible nightmares._

 _Or where they memories?!_

 _He wasn't sure, cause everything inside his head seemed to be a fucking jumbled mess._

 _Here in this little town, Christian had found peace and quiet..._ _Things he really needed._

 _Time flew by and it's been two years now... and yet, he did not want to go back home._

 _He called his mom exactly 1 time each year on her birthday. Whenever he did that, Christian took the bus and every time he called her from a different state. He did that using a burner phone of course._

 _Christian deliberately did it in that manner, so the Police or the private investigator who Grace had paid to look for him would not find him. Yup, Christian sure was clever at hiding his tracks!_

 _After having that one conversation with his mom per year, he destroyed the disposable phone..._

 _He had been content with laying low, only taking care of himself, liking that no one was bothering him at all…_

Well, that was until one evening, after walking back from the grocery store, Christian figuratively stumbled onto the woman with the long, wavy, chestnut-colored hair.

 _Two years! It's been two years since he had left Seattle, when he heard someone groan weakly from a distance. The sound the person made was very soft, and yet he heard it, because Christian had learned in the NAVY to be on high alert all the time..._

 _As his eyes landed on the person, his first instinct was to leave her there in the ditch. He glanced once at the person, and was already walking away, when something… well, he wasn't sure what it was exactly, maybe an invisible force or a little voice inside his head, told him to turn around and help the person._

 _Without hesitation, Christian lifted the woman with long, wavy locks up and carried her into the house._

.

.

.

And now here he was, in the drug store, buying stuff to put inside his first aid kit. He furrowed his brows, as he thought about the woman with the long, wavy chestnut-colored hair. She was really, really stubborn.

Never before had he met someone so freaking stubborn!

Yes, she had told him that her name was Ana. However, he kept calling her: woman with the long, wavy, chestnut-colored hair in his mind. He didn't know why, but he liked calling her that.

After he had paid the cashier, he was headed home. But then his eyes darted towards a dress, hanging on display in Deidre's clothing store. It was a little boutique, where she sold expensive but also cheap clothing. He had bought his clothes here also.

He walked by and had already turned the corner, but then he thought about the woman with the wavy, long locks…

No, her name was Ana.

She was going to stay at the house for three more days. And after that, he had planned on taking her home by using public transportation.

There was no way around it, he knew that.

He couldn't let Ana keep walking around in his over-sized shirts! The young woman was in desperate need of women's clothing…

On the first night, Christian had thrown her own clothes out, because it was stained by so much of her blood. Plus, he had cut open her jeans when he wanted to tend her thigh wound.

'Should he?' he thought, as he looked at the pretty dress.

Christian scrunched his brows together for a few minutes, but then decided to buy the woman with long, wavy locks some clothes.

"Hi there, Christian..." Deidre greeted him, the moment he stepped into the little boutique.

"Hi Deidre, I'd like to buy some clothes." he stated, his brows still furrowed, as he walked in the direction of the white summer dress.

The woman smiled, and asked. "More clothes for you, Christian?"

He shook his head, and traced the fabric of the dress with his fingers." No, not for me… it's for a… friend?" he replied hesitantly and then scratched his head.

(Was the woman with long, wavy hair his friend?!)

No… he didn't have any friends! But he couldn't tell the shop owner that.

"OK, so you need to buy women's clothing?" Deidre asked nicely.

He nodded, making her clap in her hands." I've got just the perfect outfit! How old is she?" Deidre asked, while searching for a particular outfit.

In response he let out a breath, relieved that she believed him. It could have been worse… if he didn't say 'friend', the older woman could get the wrong idea and think that he was buying clothes for a 'girlfriend'?

"Christian… how old is she?" he heard the older woman ask again.

At that, he frowned, not able to answer that question. How the hell was he supposed to know how old the young woman was?! Crap…

He really didn't know, but he knew that Deidre was expecting an answer, so he took a wild guess." Uhmm, she's… 25-ish?"

Deidre burst out into laughter at that. She then walked over to him and showed him an outfit." Will she like this? And do you think it's her size?"

He felt so overwhelmed by all her questions, and just nodded." Yeah? It's her size…" He replied.

'I think.'

"Great, so besides this outfit, does she need more clothes? What about the dress you were looking at earlier?" Deidre asked, and looked up at him with her bright, green eyes." And does she need underwear?"

The second Christian heard the word _**underwear**_ , he panicked and wanted nothing more than to make a run for it. And in one split second, he did! He was just about to leave without the clothes, when Deidre locked eyes with him." You know what, Christian. I have an idea… why don't you go buy me a piece of pie at Hannah's diner, and I'll take care of the clothes," she suggested." I'm starving… in the meantime, I'll pick out the outfits for your 'friend' and whatnot."

The older woman had noticed the panic in Christian's eyes, after she said the word 'underwear.' From the first day that the young man had stepped into her little boutique, she noticed something off about Christian. However, she wasn't the kind of person to judge.

Everyone had their own demons to battle…

Christian watched Deidre for a few moments, and waited, not sure what to do.

"Go on now… go grab me a piece of pie… here's some cash." Deidre insisted, and shoved a $20 bill in his hand.

Christian stood there perplex, and yet he nodded reluctantly and then walked out the boutique with a scowl on his handsome face.

* * *

At the moment, Ana was sitting in Christian's bed, impatiently waiting for the man, wondering how much longer she had to wait.

"Where are you, gray-eyed man?" she muttered under her breath, her hand itching to draw again.

While she listened to the only sound in the small house, the ticking of the clock, Ana wondered why he didn't even have a TV set or radio.

"Man, where does he come from? Where has he been living? He doesn't even own a phone." She whispered, and laid herself down on his bed.

As her eyes fluttered shut, she thought about those thugs. Fuck, she was in deep shit right now. Ana planned on going to the Police immediately, the moment she arrived home.

She couldn't let Hyde get away with what he had done to her! He should _definitely_ get locked up for it! Criminal...

Ana couldn't believe that the photos she had taken almost a month ago, had gotten herself into such trouble.

"Develop the pictures and give it to Detective Sawyer, Ana..."

That was what her dad and friends had advised her. But _no_ … she had to act like a hero and wanted to gather more photos, before giving them to the authorities.

She huffed at her own stupidity and let out a deep breath. She was so on edge right now! At the moment she was a long way from home, (with a stranger who was taking care of her, one who was not that talkative), she was badly injured, plus her paintings will be on exhibition three weeks from now.

Ana still had _so_ much work to do, and wasn't even halfway with preparing the gallery for her exhibition.

Shit!

As she heard the front door unlock, Ana's eyes instantly fluttered open.

"Christian is back…" she whispered, and sat up straight in his bed.

Gosh, how come his bed is so much more comfortable than her king-sized bed at home?

She heard Christian walk into the house. As she listened carefully, she assumed that he stopped somewhere in the living room.

Minutes passed, and still she didn't hear him or see him walk into his bedroom.

"What the hell was he doing in there?" She muttered, and was about to scoot over to the edge of his bed, when the bedroom door swung open.

"Hey, Christian… you're home. I…" She began, but he cut her off harshly.

"What is this?!" he growled, while standing in the doorway.

She shook her head, and watched the expression on Christian's face. To say that he was pissed off, was an understatement!

'What did I do this time?' was what bounced inside her skull, not sure what she had done wrong this time.

"Christian…" she said calmly." Why are you looking at me like that?"

In response, he closed the gap between them. The second he stood right in front of her, he shoved her sketch book on her lap.

" I… uhmm…" She tried, not sure why he was so angry at her right now.

"When did you draw this?!" he asked, his voice filled with anger and despair.

She even noticed how his right hand was trembling, a storm raging behind his gray eyes... Shit! He was really pissed off!

She looked up at him, her heart ramming against her rib cage, while trying her best to push back her tears." Last night! I sat in the chair, and saw you sleeping on the couch… you were sleeping so peacefu…" She tried to explain, but he got angrier and tore the sketch book into pieces, right in front of her.

"Noooo!" Ana sobbed, while shaking her head." Christian! That was m.. my masterpiece! I made a drawing of you, because I wanted to show you how much..."

"You should _**not**_ have done that!" he said, the tone of his voice colder than winter.

Ana's chest heaved dangerously, as tears ran down her face, her eyes landing on the pieces of what used to be the beautiful drawing she made the night before.

"Why did you do that?! Why, Christian? That was the best drawing I've made in months!" She shouted, and attempted to get up.

"You'll tear open your thigh wound again," he hissed, his gray eyes piercing and unforgiving." Sit. back. down." he growled.

"Make me." Ana challenged.

He glared at her, and growled." I should have left you in that ditch."

As those words reached her ears, Ana didn't know what came over her at that moment. Without hesitation, she got on her feet anyway and slapped him on his cheek with such a force, the sound echoing in his bedroom. "Go to hell!" Ana shouted, while her long, wavy, chestnut-colored locks fell in her pretty face.

"Gladly..." Christian replied, and strode out of his bedroom, leaving a sobbing Ana behind.

* * *

 **Note: Thank you so much for reading my work and reviewing, you all.**

 **Leave me a comment?**

 **Thank you.**

 **xoxo,**

 **J**


	6. Do you need help?

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fifty Shades Trilogy**

* * *

 **Do you need help?**

xxx [[[]]] xxx

...

* * *

 _"Go to hell!" Ana shouted, while her long, wavy, chestnut-colored locks fell in her pretty face._

 _"Gladly..." Christian replied, and strode out of his bedroom, leaving a sobbing Ana behind._

At the moment Ana was seething! As tears from anger spilled from her eyes, she huffed and wasn't able to think clearly any longer. In the back of her head she knew very well that what she was about to do was a very bad idea…

And yet she did it, her pride winning from the little voice (the voice of reason) inside her head, the one that told her to think before regretting her next move. Christian wasn't around, so while she frantically wiped away her tears, she got up from his bed and walked carefully in the direction of the living room.

Her thigh wound began to ache tremendously, but that didn't hold her back. No, she had decided to leave and that's exactly what she was going to do. Damn that gray-eyed man… damn that bully! Savage!

"Damn him!" she muttered under her breath, while grabbing the crutches, and searched for her boots.

Ana didn't care about tearing up her thigh wound, all she wanted was to get the hell out of this freaking house right away…

She found her light brown boots in Christian's closet, and also looked for something to wear. As she noticed the neat contents of the closet, all his clothing folded in a neat manner, Ana wondered if he was a soldier.

Everything in the house was just so neatly placed. Her own walk-in closet at home looked messy compared to Christian's small one. Ana couldn't find anything else than his clothes, so she decided to grab one of his Henley's and a pair of black pants and wore them.

She hastily wore her brown boots, and knew that she must look awful at the moment, but she didn't care… no, not all.

She didn't even dare to look at her own reflection in the mirror.

"That gray-eyed bully can go to hell! I don't give a shit." She hissed, and searched for the disposable phone.

When she couldn't find it, Ana huffed and with much difficulty she walked (mostly stumbled) out of the front door by using the crutches.

* * *

Christian was walking with huge strides in the direction of the town, not really having a destination in mind. That… that woman! The woman… the stubborn woman with the long, wavy chestnut-colored hair was so infuriating!

His mind was at the moment only consumed by the drawing the woman made!

And with that, he automatically had to think about what had happened that fateful day...

He remembered that day so very clearly, even though it happened more than two years ago.

May 19, 2015: that was the day he was forced to do such a horrific thing, the day Christian had lost himself completely.

Right now he tried to shake that memory from his mind, but no matter what he did, Christian could never forget.

There were days, he attempted to convince himself that they were just nightmares… that it wasn't real… that it didn't happen. But Christian knew better, he mostly felt it… felt that they weren't just random images inside his jumbled, messed-up head…

They were awful memories, some not real, but most of them were realer than the air that he breathed…

To his Navy SEAL crew and his superiors, he was a hero and he even received a medal for his deeds. However, in Christian's eyes he was no hero!

What tore at his heart the most, were images of that child soldier...

To him, it was so confusing and it was so overwhelming, knowing what he had done, what happened in the past continuously haunting him till this very day.

Some days were good, and he'd act like he hadn't done it. But most days, especially at night, he experienced very bad ones…

Every night he had to battle his demons, and every time Christian lost.

It was still a maze inside his head, and yet the thing he desperately wanted to ignore and forget, was the thing he remembered the most.

In the beginning, he barely was able to sleep at all. If he got two or three hours of sleep in one night, he considered himself lucky.

When slumber took over him, Christian was constantly being haunted and plagued by their faces.

The awful feeling in the pit of his stomach was nauseating to the point of excruciating, sometimes making him want to give it all up…

He, Christian Grey, son of Grace and Carrick Grey, had protected his crew members. Yes, he did.

However, by saving them, Christian had been forced to take lives in the process.

That's why he hated himself, he hated everything about himself… he just despised his whole being.

There wasn't really a reason to live, and yet he kept going because he didn't know anything else than to survive… to keep himself alive.

Why? He wasn't sure. All he knew is that he had to.

And God, he despised his face with such a passion! Christian barely looked at his own reflection in the mirror, only doing so when he had to wash his face…

Why did he hate it so much?

Because Christian's face was the last thing that child soldier saw, before he forever closed his eyes...

His hands trembled heavily at the memory, his heart contracting in his chest right now, the pain too much to bear.

And the woman… why did she make a drawing of his face?! She made a drawing of the face that he despised with all his heart… why would she do such a horrible thing?! Christian couldn't for the life of him understand why she had to do that!

Why in the hell would she even want to immortalize this damned face?!

Why?!

At a certain point Christian noticed that it was going to rain, the sky above beginning to change from its blue to an angry dark color.

He clenched his hands into fists and huffed lowly, his eyes fluttering shut, while taking in deep breaths…

That woman… she had done something awful. However, her thigh injury still needed attention. Christian knew that if he wouldn't tend to it right away, there was a big chance that it will get infected.

And that was something he could not let happen. No, not on his watch! Even though he was still very pissed at the woman… Ana.

As the heavens began to break open, rain falling from above, Christian turned around and strode with large steps back towards the house. The moment he walked inside the living room though, he immediately noticed that something was most definitely wrong.

No…

She didn't! As Christian searched the house and found out that the woman with the wavy chestnut-colored hair was gone, he felt his blood boil.

He shook his head, a low growl escaping his lips, as he attempted to calm himself down… the woman left! She didn't listen to him and fucking moved from his bed!

In an instant, he was out the door, not even taking the time to grab a coat. Where could she have gone? And why would she do such a stupid thing! It was pouring, even Christian was shivering from the cold.

He didn't know where she was at the moment, but he assumed the woman went in the other direction, because he didn't meet her when he walked back to the house.

What the hell was she thinking?! As Christian walked through the pouring rain, he muttered and mumbled, annoyed by the woman…

At a certain point he reached the highway, and there she was. There was no mistake; it was her. The woman's long hair was wet and a mess, while she stood awkwardly on the side of the road with the crutches. She had her back to him, so she didn't notice him walking towards her.

As Christian closed the gap between them, he noticed that she was shivering heavily…

The woman was wearing her boots, and his clothes… She must've been desperate, wearing one of his Henley's. Christian assumed that she had been in a hurry to flee the house, not noticing the two bags with clothing that he had bought especially for her…

When he had left the house to search for Ana he had been really pissed at her. However, at the moment he felt something else inside of him… a foreign feeling. A pang, a tug at his heart, an unfamiliar feeling.

Was this compassion? Or admiration? He wasn't sure…

The woman with the long, wavy chestnut-colored locks looked so brave and small at the same time, standing in the pouring rain, defying the storm, only because he had torn up the drawing that she had made of him…

As Christian reached Ana, he cleared his throat.

He heard the woman gasp softly, and noticed her body tensing.

"Miss." He said, as he waited for a reaction from her.

As Ana heard his voice, her eyes instantly fluttered shut. Crap!

'I'm so busted!' she thought, and gritted her teeth out of annoyance.

She hadn't turned around, so Christian tried once more." Miss, let's get you out of the rain."

Ana's eyes fluttered open at that, and she instantly turned around. As her pretty blue eyes locked onto his gray ones, she huffed." No!"

Christian was trying with all his might to keep calm, but God! This stubborn, infuriating woman made it so freaking hard for him…

"You're gonna catch a cold." He pointed out, his voice cold.

Ana threw daggers at him with her eyes, and spat." I thought that you were on your way to hell."

She said that, referring to the argument they had before he stormed out the house a while ago.

"Miss… it's pouring. You must get out of the rain and warm up your body." He insisted, his gray eyes boring into hers.

In response, Ana rolled her eyes at him, and huffed." Fine! But I will walk on my own! Don't you dare put your… your hands on me!" she snapped, and began to walk back in the direction of the house.

Christian clenched his hands once more, and shook his head." If you won't let me help you, I will extend your stay at the house… instead of three days, I will make it six." He threatened, and raised his eyebrow, his lips in a thin line.

"You wouldn't dare! You promised that it would only take three days!" She exclaimed, her voice shaky.

"And **_you_ **made a promise also... You promised not to move." Christian pointed out, and took one step to close the gap between them.

She knew that he was right, and groaned aloud." Fine! You win, OK?! Happy now?" she said.

He didn't answer her, and instead he swiftly picked her up and carried her back home.

.

.

.

When Christian reached the house, he opened the door and carried Ana into the bedroom. She was shivering all over, her teeth clattering.

"Are you gonna shower first?" he asked, and locked eyes with her.

Ana nodded in response, still glaring at him. He carried her into the bathroom, and gently placed her on her feet.

"Try your best not to wet your wound, OK?" he asked.

"Fine." She replied icily.

"Do you need help?" he asked, while staring at her, his voice uninviting like the first night.

Ana shook her head. " No. I'll be fine." She answered, the venom in her voice evident and clear.

"You can use all the warm water, if you want." He offered, and walked out the bathroom, shutting the door behind him.

Ana immediately took off of Christian's clothes and walked into the shower. As the warm water cascaded onto her cold body, she let out a deep breath, her eyes fluttering shut.

That man… that gray-eyed man… he was so infuriating!

She lathered herself, using the shower gel and huffed loudly.

He was such a bully! A big savage! As she searched for words to use for Christian, Ana felt the anger rise inside of her once more.

He tore my masterpiece into fucking pieces! What kind of cave man-act is that?! She was still pissed at the man, unable to understand why he had done such a thing!

'Bully!' she thought, and turned off the shower when she was done.

She stepped out and grabbed a fresh towel from the vanity. As she dried herself off, a soft knock reached her ears.

"You don't have to wear my clothes anymore." She heard Christian say through the bathroom door.

She furrowed her brows, and asked." What is your plan then? You want me to walk around _**naked**_ around the house?!" she said, the tone of her voice two pitches higher than usual.

He ignored her comment. "Are you a bit decent?" she heard Christian say from the other side of the door.

"No!" she huffed, while she wrapped the big towel around herself.

"I have something for you." He announced." Can I come in?"

She shook her head, even though she knew that he couldn't see her." No! Stay out." She replied icily.

In response, Ana heard him groan and saw how the door swung open." I said that I have something for you." Christian insisted and walked into the bathroom anyway.

"Are you fucking deaf?! I said that I don't want you to come inside the bathroom!" She scolded, while covering herself with her arms and towel.

Christian glared at her, and shook his head." Really? Really, Miss?" he said, and shoved the two bags with clothes into Ana's hands." Here… I bought you some clothes… women clothing. I think you need them?"

In response, Ana's mouth fell slightly open in surprise." Seriously, Christian? You bought me clothes?"

He rolled his eyes at her, and turned around about to walk out the bathroom. But just as he entered the bedroom, he turned around again and locked eyes with Ana, his brows scrunched together, as if he didn't understand something." I don't get why you are acting like this, Miss. It's not like I haven't seen you ' you know'(bare)…" Christian pointed out." Have you forgotten who had wiped away all the blood from your body your first night here, took off of your torn clothes and cleaned you up, replacing it with my shirt?"

As those words tumbled from his lips, Ana instantly felt heat spreading towards her cheeks, feeling as if the atmosphere had caught fire. (Even though it was storming outside)

Christian noticed the flush on her cheeks, and realized that the woman was embarrassed by what he had said.

It was then, when he realized that he shouldn't have been so blunt.

As he noticed that the woman did her best to avoid his gaze, Christian scrunched his brows together. He decided then to change the subject." Can you wear the dress, so it would be easier for me to take care of your wound?"

Ana looked up at him, and nodded." OK."

After that, Christian turned on his heel, and walked out the bathroom, so she could have some privacy.

The moment he shut the bathroom door behind him, Ana let out a breath, her eyes fluttering shut. Yup, that savage had seen her naked…

She had almost forgotten about that, until Christian reminded her of it. But the thing about him is that he wasn't being a pervert about it. In her opinion, Christian found nakedness… not such a big deal? She remembered his reaction, when he cut open her blouse to look at her rib cage, the first night here …

Christian didn't even react on seeing her bare skin or her lacy bra. It was like he was being professional; the only thing that mattered to him at that moment was to tend to her injury.

Ana found that Christian was not like other men… She had experienced enough perverts in her 28 years on earth, knowing exactly the way men looked at her, considering her as a piece of meat, a thing that they wanted to have.

But with Christian it's so different… almost the opposite. He had seen more of her than any pervert ever has, and yet she still felt like he respected her… respected their boundaries...

Yes, he was still acting his brooding self, being harsh and uninviting towards her. And his voice was still as raw and cold like the first night they met, but Ana felt like he was being that way, because... he wasn't used to having guests over?

She wasn't sure.

The more she thought about it, the bigger her urge became to find out more about him…

He was so mysterious, making it impossible for her not to want to know more.

What was his deal though? What is his story? Ana really wanted to know so badly.

Yes, she was well aware of the saying: curiosity killed the cat.

However, Ana considered herself to be a cat with more than nine lives…

She was taken out of her thoughts by a loud knock on the bathroom door. "Miss! Are you ready yet? I should tend to your injury ASAP. We don't want it to get infected." Ana heard Christian say from the other side of the door, his voice still as cold like before.

She rolled her eyes, annoyed that he still called her 'Miss'. 'Why doesn't he call me by my first name?!' Ana thought.

"Give me ten minutes! I'll call you when I'm done. OK?" she replied, and waited till she heard that he was out of the bedroom, his footsteps loud and heavy on the floor.

When she was certain that he was gone, Ana carefully walked into the bedroom and placed the two large bags on his bed. As she pulled the items out, she noticed that there were six outfits, mostly dresses, blouses and skirts.

'How did he know my size?' she thought.

Her lips curled into a smile, grateful that Christian had thought about getting her clothes…

'He wasn't that bad.' Was what bounced inside her skull at that moment.

Well, apart from tearing her drawing into pieces that is…

Ana took the rest of the contents out of the two large bags, and also found underwear, a hairbrush, a hair pin, hair clips, a pair of sandals, and some make-up.

Her smile turned into a full on grin, gracing her gorgeous face.

"Seriously? He bought make-up for me?" were the words that tumbled from her pale lips.

Ana couldn't help but smile like an idiot and began to change into the summer dress that he bought especially for her.

* * *

 **Note: So... that's why he hated his own face. He hated what he had to do in order to save his colleagues' lives. :(**

 **That was the new chap, you all... Thank you so much for reading my work and reviewing.**

 **You are amazing. :)**

 **Can you take a moment to leave me a review?**

 **P.S. I will be updating 'Falling for the enemy' and 'When did I become so numb?' next week.**

 **Till laterzz,**

 **J**


	7. He's your son, Grace!

Disclaimer: I do not own Fifty Shades Trilogy

 **Note: Like all my other A/C stories, this is also set in an alternate universe. ;)**

* * *

 **.**

 **He's your son, Grace!**

 **xxx [[[]]] xxx**

 **...**

* * *

 _"Seriously? He bought make-up for me?" were the words that tumbled from her pale lips._

 _Ana couldn't help but smile like an idiot and began to change into the summer dress that he bought especially for her._

After she had applied her make-up, glad that there was a red lipstick in one of the bags, (cause come on, her lips painted bright red was Ana's signature mark) she combed her long, wavy locks till it shone, using the hair clips to hold it up.

When she was done, Ana looked at her own reflection in the mirror, feeling satisfied at the moment. God… at last, after two days walking around in Christian's over-sized shirt, she finally felt and looked like herself.

Yup, this was her. The reflection that was staring back at her, was the Anastasia Steele she knew and liked. Her face wasn't as pale, her lips fiery red, and her thick locks fell in waves down onto her shoulders.

As the corners of her lips curled upwards into a smile, she nodded. "Yeah, she's back…"

.

.

 **... Meanwhile in Seattle ...**

.

.

With a smile on her face, Mia walked into Grace's office.

"Good morning, mom."

"Mia?" Grace said with a surprised look on her face, and placed her glasses on her desk." What are you doing here, sweetie? Did you take the day off?"

Her daughter nodded, and plopped down on the small couch in the corner of the large office." Yes"

"Well?" Grace said, and looked at Mia dumbfounded." Are you gonna explain why you're here at this hour?"

"Mom, I'm exhausted." Mia replied, and placed a cushion over her face.

Grace got up from her seat, and walked towards the couch." Everything fine at the office, sweetie?"

"No." Mia replied, her voice muffled by the cushion over her pretty face." My boss is a pain in the ass."

Grace sighed deeply, and took a seat next to Mia.

"Make it better, mom?" Mia pleaded, and sat up.

She then scooted closer to her mother and placed her head on Grace's lap, her eyes closed.

As a smile played at her lips, Grace massaged Mia's temples with her fingers.

"I can slowly feel all the stress ebbing away..." Mia whispered, her eyes still closed." Don't ever leave me, mom..."

Grace chuckled at hearing that." I promise to never ever leave..." She told her daughter." Wanna talk about your day?"

"Nope" Mia replied, and hummed at one point.

While massaging her daughter's temples, a huge lump had formed in her throat.

It touched Grace that even though her youngest child had her own life now, and lived on her own, had her own career, she still came back to her for comfort.

Every single time...

And Elliot was the same.

If he had problems, his mom was the first he'd turn to.

So to sum it up, her oldest and youngest children, included their mom in almost every aspect of their lives.

That's why it was very hard for Grace that her second child, Christian, had shut her out of his life completely.

.

.

 **... Flashback ...**

.

.

.

 _She tried to help him, after he came home from his last mission. However, even the best treatments didn't help Christian._

 _Grace also had asked Elliot to help, but no matter who she sent, Christian made it clear that he refused to talk about what happened on his last mission._

 _"Brother, we just want to help you..." Elliot had said during their last conversation._

 _However, Christian shook his head, and told his big brother." I'm not ready... please, leave me alone"_

 _It pained Grace that she was unable to help her second child. At one point it had gotten so bad that she even turned to her ex-husband to ask for help._

 _Grace was a proud woman, and independent, has been for more than twenty years now. She worked her ass off and had become one of the wealthiest women in the whole Seattle area. When Christian came home from his last mission, her divorce had already been finalized for 6 months._

 _Nobody was surprised though, because the last five years, Carrick constantly had a wandering eye for other women._

 _Especially for twenty- something blondes..._

 _When Grace confronted Carrick about it, he kept insisting that he was only looking and not touching. He even tried to convince his wife that she was seeing things that weren't there, but Grace was a smart woman and took it seriously._

 _At one point, she even hired a private detective, and he was the one who provided her the proof that Carrick was indeed cheating on her!_

 _And with whom?!_

 _None other than Mia's own long-time friend Kate Kavanaugh!_

 _When Mia found out about her father's infidelity, she went to her best friend's apartment to confront the two and went berserk, almost scratching Kate's eyes out!_

 _With tears in her eyes, Mia had said." You are NOT my best friend any longer, Kate… you're dead to me"_

 _That whole ordeal obviously put a strain on Carrick's relationship with his children._

 _And because of that, Grace's bond that she already had with Elliot and Mia, became stronger…_

 _So, yes. Grace was indeed a proud woman, but when she realized that nobody could get Christian to talk about the events that led to his PTSD, she pushed her pride temporarily aside, and called her ex-husband._

 _"I need your help, Carrick..." she told him through the phone._

 _"What is it, Grace? What do you want? You know how jealous my young fiancé gets!" he had barked through the phone._

 _When those words reached her ears, Grace felt her anger rise inside of her." I don't give a crap about your 'fiancé', Carrick... I'm calling you, because I need you to help me with our son, OK?" She had shouted into the phone." Our boy, he needs help. Christian needs to talk with someone about what happened in..."_

 _However, Carrick didn't let her finish, and cut her off harshly._

 _"He's YOUR son, Grace... you deal with him!" he said, and then Grace heard a click._

 _He hung up on her!_

 _At that moment Grace was seething, and was unable to believe a father could be so heartless and spineless!_

 _With angry tears in her eyes, she pushed the redial button, but at the last second decided to let it go..._

 _No! She won't beg Carrick for anything! As it dawned on her that his new fiance meant more to him than his own son, his flesh and blood, it tore at Grace's heart and soul._

 _But no matter how much it hurt, she decided to be strong for her son..._

 _A month went by since Christian had returned home, and he seemed to adjust to normal life._

 _Little did Grace know that he barely slept at night, fighting off his demons._

 _He was good at keeping up appearances, especially after Mia confessed to him that their mother was very worried about him._

 _"I'm fine, mom... I'm fine, Elliot... I'm fine, Mia" Christian kept insisting._

 _Her guts told her that her second child was still suffering from PTSD, but a friend had advised Grace that Christian maybe just needed to lead a normal life._

 _"No, he's not ready..." she had said, but Elliot and Mia had joined in and also thought that it would be a good idea._

 _And that's why Grace decided to retire from the family business, and had asked Christian to take over for her..._

.

.

 **... End of Flashback ...**

.

.

"Mom?"

Grace was taken out of her thoughts by Mia's voice.

She smiled at her daughter, and said." Yes, sweetie?"

"I feel better now." Mia said, and smiled widely." Let's have lunch together..."

Grace let out a deep breath in response, and nodded." Let's go, daughter of mine... I'm starving."

"Don't you have any appointments?"

"Yes, but I'll tell my assistant to postpone them..." Grace replied without hesitation." For you, my baby? I'd push aside everything. You and Elliot come first."

Mia grabbed Grace's hand and squeezed it lightly." And Christian... right?" she pointed out, while giving her mom a sad look.

Grace nodded, while tears pooled in her eyes." Of course... of course Christian also. You, Elliot and Christian come first... ALWAYS."

* * *

 **… Meanwhile in Oregon …**

.

.

.

At the moment Ana was lying on his bed, while Christian took care of her thigh wound.

As she watched how he worked with his hands on her injury, he warned." Sorry, but this is really gonna sting."

Ana closed her eyes and hissed softly, unintentionally gripping Christian's left forearm tightly.

She gasped softly at the contact, her eyes instantly locking onto his.

"Sorry." She said, her brows furrowed." I didn't mean to…"

"It's OK." Christian pointed out, and went back tending her wound.

From time to time, Ana gasped at the pain. He noticed it, and yet he acted like he didn't hear her. Christian knew that it hurt, but he had to continue because he wanted to prevent infection of her wound.

So, instead of reacting to Ana, he focused on the task at hand.

Ana watched how he worked, observing the man she had called 'savage' not so long ago.

"Thank you for the clothes and the rest of the stuff." She said softly." I'm also happy with the hairbrush and make-up."

Christian just nodded." Uhuh." He said, not even looking up at her.

"How did you know my size?" she asked, attempting to catch his gaze.

However, Christian's eyes stayed plastered on Ana's injured thigh, cleaning the wound and dressing it.

"I didn't." he simply said." I just guessed when Deidre showed me the outfit."

"Oh, Deidre, huh?"

He nodded." Yup, Deidre is the shop owner. She helped with picking out the clothes and the rest of the stuff." Christian pointed out, his eyes still plastered on her wound.

"Oh! So… she's the one who put the make-up and hair brush in the bag?" Ana tested him.

In response, Christian looked up and locked his gray eyes onto her blue ones." Nope, the hairbrush and hair clips were my idea." He pointed out." Your hair is so thick and long, I knew that you would need those to tame it."

Ana chuckled at hearing that." Seriously? You were worried about my hair?"

Christian frowned at that." I wasn't worried. I just thought that you needed it… I was right, though wasn't I?"

Ana nodded." Yes, you were right. I need those. Thank you, Christian." She replied, her voice filled with gratitude.

He didn't reply. Instead, Christian's eyes darted back towards her wound, and only mumbled a soft 'Uhuh' to her.

Ana shook her head, still finding that Christian needed to have more interaction with people… a lot more!

In her opinion, he was incapable of talking to people, especially to women…

Ana watched, as he finished up.

Christian then asked." Do any of your injuries still hurt?"

"My head does hurt just a bit… but my rib cage and thigh do hurt a lot, honestly. Can you give me some painkillers?" she asked.

Christian nodded in response." Of course."

"Thank you." She replied, and noticed that he was done with dressing her thigh wound.

He inspected it one last time, nodded and then gently pulled her summer dress back down.

"OK, you're all good now. Just make sure not to move too much." Christian told her, and locked his piercing gray eyes onto hers again." Are we clear, Miss?"

She nodded, and said." Yes, I will listen this time… I won't move unless it's absolutely necessary."

Ana agreed to do as he said, not because she liked taking Christian's orders, in fact she hated it! She agreed to it, because she desperately needed to get back home. Ana had to prepare the gallery and get ready for her exhibition.

There wasn't much time… she only had a few weeks left to do everything.

"I'm gonna clean up here and then I'll get us something to eat. You must be famished." Christian stated, as he got on his feet.

"OK." She commented, and thought about asking him why he had torn up the drawing.

However, it looked like Christian didn't want to talk about the big, fat elephant in the damn room. She bit her bottom lip, contemplating what to say. Should she though? Or should she just let it go?

After Christian had cleaned up the bedroom, and put the first-aid kit away, Ana looked up at him." Christian?" she said tentatively.

"Hmmm?" he said, and locked eyes with her, his gray eyes still piercing and uninviting.

Ana cleared her throat, as her heart thumped wildly against her chest. She wasn't sure how he'll react and yet she dared to ask. (Come on, she wasn't the kind of person to back down from a challenge, was she?!)

"Uhmm… can you tell me WHY you were so angry, when you saw the drawing that I had made of you?"

* * *

 **Note: Oops! Maybe Ana shouldn't have asked Christian about it yet?**

 **Oh boy... What do you think?**

 **Thank you all for reading my work and reviewing. :)**

 **This was the chapter... till the next one.**

 **xoxo,**

 **J**


	8. Why can't you say my name?

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fifty Shades Trilogy**

* * *

 **Why can't you say my name?**

 **xxx [[[]]] xxx**

 **...**

* * *

 **... Three days later ...**

.

It was a long and exhausting ride to Seattle, so at one point Ana had fallen asleep in the bus. At first she sat up straight while sleeping, but all of a sudden Christian felt how she slowly began to lean onto him.

That really startled him… She still was a stranger to him. He didn't know her... at all! All he knew was that for four days he had taken care of her injuries, made sure that she was properly fed and that she had all the stuff she needed.

So yeah, the woman was still a stranger to Christian.

When he talked to Ana, he still called her Miss, and sometimes when she glared at him in response, he would call her by her first name.

He just met her four nights ago you know…

And yet, Christian felt as if he knew Ana longer than that. Well, that's how it seemed. She was the most stubborn person he had ever met in his life, but in the short time that they interacted, he discovered other things about her. Ana could read people, she was extremely empathetic, and obviously a very talented artist too. And not to forget feisty… she was very feisty indeed.

When Ana had made that drawing of him, he was really pissed off at her.

He didn't understand why she would even want to immortalize his face.

"I want to thank you for saving my life" she had said.

However, he still hated that drawing she made of him. No matter what Ana had said, he dismissed all of it.

"Do not EVER draw me again" he had warned.

Anyone would have been afraid of his words, and the look he had given her… yes, anyone. But not Ana!

"I don't understand you, Christian… it's my way of thanking you for taking care of me." she explained to him." Help me understand why you're so angry about it?"

However, he decided that he no longer wanted to discuss the matter.

She finally let it go, and they both hadn't talked about it since. That didn't mean that Christian stopped thinking about the drawing. Ana hadn't just drawn his face… no, she had put onto paper what she saw in him, the way she perceived him and that terrified Christian a lot...

He was taken out of his thoughts though by Ana's weight on him. Right now her head was fully rested on his upper arm, and he also could hear her snore lightly.

Christian instantly froze at the contact, his heart pounding inside his chest. He wasn't used to human contact anymore… he'd forgotten what it felt like to be held or touched by someone.

So to him it felt strange to feel her head on his upper arm. He didn't like strange feelings. He didn't like them at all!

And he didn't like Ana… Of course he did not like this feisty, stubborn young woman. She's such a handful.

'Plus, she's an absolute stranger… don't get attached' he scolded himself.' Drop her off at her home, make sure her dad knows that she's back and then go back to Oregon... Leave Seattle ASAP!'

(Christian obviously didn't want to run into his mom, brother or sister while back in Seattle)

Just a simple task, right? Yes, it seemed so.

But little did he know that it's never simple with Ana…

'Breathe in, breathe out... in, out' were the words that swirled around in Christian's head, as the place came into view where he had lived most of his life.

Seattle... a busy, beautiful and wonderful place to live. Christian used to love it here, and could remember slightly how he used to enjoy his previous life with his parents and siblings.

He used to have a great life. That's what he thought at the time.

Then Christian possessed everything a person would need and want... and then some.

He enjoyed all the expensive cars, vacations, extravagant parties and… the women.

Oh the women. Christian had a different girlfriend every two or three weeks, but it was never serious. He was just a young man enjoying his life to the fullest.

Until?

Well, until he decided to join the NAVY and had become a Special Operations Combat Medic.(SOCM) And he was a damn good one too! He joined, because he wanted to help his countrymen during missions abroad.

And it was during that time that Christian realized that his life in Seattle was a shallow one. Before joining the NAVY, he had no clue what kind of suffering people all over the world endured. Well, as a Medic he sure learned it the hard way.

He saved a lot of NAVY colleagues, but he had also lost lives. Men and women who had given their lives for what they believed in, and each time he stayed with them till the very end… till the light of their eyes had died out completely.

He never left anyone behind. NEVER.

Each and every time that he was unable to save a life, a piece of him died too. Christian stayed with them till the helicopter arrived. He stayed and held their hand, crutched down in the sand, his clothes and face bloody, right next to the lifeless body of one of his friends/ colleagues.

So, no. Christian did not miss his previous, shallow life. If anything, he despised it.

"Last stop!" he heard someone say, taking him out of his thoughts.

In response, Christian turned his head to the side to look at the young woman with the long, wavy chestnut-colored locks.

Ana was her name. Yeah, he purposely did not call her by her name, because he wanted to distance himself from her.

Christian had only one thing on his mind; drop her off safely at home and then go back to his life in Oregon. But after everything that he experienced with her, he had to admit that he was going to miss her just a tiny bit.

Only a little bit though...

"Miss? Wake up..." he said, and gently shook Ana on her arm.

"No" he heard her say, and saw how she leaned into him even more." You're very… comfy"

She was radiating warmth, and her hand even landed on his, making him jump up.

"Wake up!" Christian exclaimed, his brows furrowed.

He so was not expecting her to say that, and he felt a bit embarrassed.

Ana made a lazy noise, and opened her eyes slowly. She then sat up straight and looked out the window." I'm home..." she whispered, and smiled widely.

"Yes, you are." Christian said, his brows still furrowed." We need to get going, Miss."

Ana rolled her eyes and stood up." My name. is. Ana." she pointed out." Why can't you say my name?"

Christian ignored her, and grabbed one of her bags.

When Ana was 'dumped' by those criminals in that ditch near Christian's home, she didn't have any possessions with her. But now she did.

She had a bag filled with clothes, make-up, etc. that Christian had bought for her and a back-pack with sandwiches, snacks and water.

Yes, as long as she was with him, he'd make sure she had everything needed.

The moment the bus left Oregon, Ana had told Christian that she was going to pay all the money back that he had spent on her, while she was in his care.

But the only response she received was a short. "Not necessary."

No matter how grumpily, or cold he talked to her and acted towards her, Ana still had a huge amount of respect and gratitude for him. His voice was still that cold, and uninviting, but since last evening, when they had their last dinner together in his home, Ana noticed something different in his gray eyes.

There was a change and it was only a glimpse, but she knew that she got through that thick head/ heart of his.

She knew that he was hurting and that he desperately needed help. How did she know that? She knew, because of what happened a few nights ago.

.

.

 _ **... Flashback ...**_

.

.

 _It was the second night at his place, when Ana woke up startled late at night. She heard someone shouting! Was… was that Christian?!_

 _At first she didn't understand what was being said, but then he raised his voice so she heard it clearly._

 _"Don't let me hurt you!"_

 _A chill went up and down Ana's spine, as those words reached her ears, her heart pounding inside her chest._

 _And yes, Ana disobeyed him again. She got up from the bed..._

 _Fear took over her whole being, because she didn't know what was going on. However, she couldn't help but walk towards where Christian was._

 _As she reached the living room, Ana noticed 2 things. One: Christian was alone. And two: He was still asleep and tossed and turned on the cold, hard floor._

 _"Please, put it down!" she heard him sob aloud, his voice trembling heavily. "I don't want to hurt you! Put down the weapon… please!"_

 _Ana didn't know what to do. She froze in her spot and her voice was not cooperating either. She desperately wanted to tell him to wake up! However, she was unable to do so. Fortunately, after a few minutes Christian seemed to be calm again._

 _Even though her thigh hurt like hell, Ana stayed in the living room and even took a seat on the couch._

 _'Why are you sleeping on the cold, hard floor?' she wondered._

 _'What happened to you, Christian? Why are you like this? So broken?_

 _Ana didn't know his background. She didn't know what happened to him. But one thing she knew... she was going to find out one way or another and then help the man who had saved her life._

.

.

 _ **... End of flashback ...**_

.

.

"Miss, are you coming?" she heard him say, taking her out of her thoughts.

She smiled and said." Yes, I am."

Christian easily was able to hail a cab, and then he helped Ana step inside of it.

"You good? How is your injury?" Christian asked with that toneless voice of his, his eyes fixed onto hers.

Ana used to feel very uncomfortable whenever he did that, the look in his gray eyes piercing and serious. However, she had gotten used to it these last few days. He did not mean anything bad by it. That's just how Christian was.

"It's good." She replied.

"How are your stiches?"

"Intact" she replied, and smiled widely.

However, he did not find her joke funny at all." I'm serious, Miss."

"Well, I'm serious too... and how many times do I have tell you that my name is Ana."

"Good for you" he replied, making Ana shake her head.

"Anyway, call your father that you're on your way home. Will you?" Christian ordered.

"Will do, Sir!" Ana said in an exaggerated manner.

"I'm not joking around, Mi... " he began, but stopped mid-sentence, because Ana glared at him." Ana…"

She sighed in response, and rolled her eyes at him." Fine"

Ana called her father, but he had told her that he was on his way home from a business trip. So, he could not meet up with her until the next day.

"Great." Ana said, after she ended the phone conversation with her dad.

Christian looked at her, his brows furrowed." He can't make it."

Ana shook her head, and at that moment she felt a sharp pain go through her thigh." Ouch" she muttered, and gripped her bag, her eyes fluttering shut.

" What is it? Is it your wound?" Christian asked, and grabbed her lightly on her upper arm.

She let out a deep breath and said." I think the morphine has worn off, Christian"

"OK, that's it. I'm not dropping you off at home first." he announced." I'm going to bring you to the hospital right away"

Ana looked over to him and smiled." Yes, I think that's for the best"

Christian then instructed the cab driver to bring them to the nearest hospital ASAP.

"You're gonna be fine, Miss." he promised." I'm not gonna leave you behind"

As those words reached her ears, a huge lump formed in her throat.

He cared.

This was the man who spoke to her in a cold tone for four days straight, and had given her looks that made her feel as if she burdened him.

And yet, right now he's the one who's being protective of her.

Ana looked up at him, and smiled." Thank you"

Christian just nodded, his eyes expressionless." Like I said, I won't leave you."

He didn't show emotion, as those words left his lips. He was used being this way since his last deployment.

But that didn't mean that those words were meaningless to Christian.

On the contrary... 'I'm not leaving you behind' were words that held a promise, one that he was planning to keep.

* * *

 _ **Note: Thank you for reading my work.**_

 _ **And thank you so much for the reviews.**_

 _ **:)**_

 _ **Till the next one,**_

 _ **xoxo**_

 _ **J**_


	9. A complete wreck

**.**

 **A complete wreck**

 **xxx [[[ ]]] xxx**

* * *

 _ **On the contrary... 'I'm not leaving you behind' were words that held a promise, one that he was planning to keep.**_

.

.

Four days after Christian brought Ana to the hospital, she was finally healthy enough to go home.

"Dad, help me with my bags, please?" she asked, while carefully getting out the hospital bed.

"Careful, honey" Ray said in a worried tone." Watch your step"

"Don't worry, it's not like I underwent a heart surgery, dad" Ana teased, making her dad roll his eyes at her.

"Just be careful, dear" he told Ana, and grabbed her bags and phone.

"Should I call the nurse to help you in a wheelchair?"

"No! I can walk, you know" she countered, and demonstrated to her dad by walking effortlessly to the door.

"OK, if you say so" he replied, and then they walked towards the elevator.

"Ana, who was the man who helped you with your injuries?" Ray asked, his brows furrowed." A stranger?"

She nodded in response." Yes"

"Well, can I meet him?" Ray asked, while pushing the elevator button.

"I don't know."

He scrunched his brows together." What do you mean, you don't know?"

It was then, when Ana explained to her father that Christian had brought her to the hospital four days ago, and she hasn't seen him since.

"Well, that's strange"

Ana chuckled at that." You think he's strange now and you haven't met him yet…"

"He didn't hurt you or do anything…" Ray began, but she cut him off.

"No, no no, dad… he was the perfect gentleman since day one" Ana said in a convincing manner." A little weird, but a gentleman indeed."

Ray was relieved to hear that, but was still concerned about Ana.

As they stepped into his car, he gave her a concerned look. "Sweetie, I feel so bad for not being here for you"

Ana shook her head." I'm OK, don't worry about me." she told him." I can take care of myself."

"What about that criminal who attacked you and left you for dead?" Ray said, while holding the steering wheel tightly.

He was pissed!

"We're going to the Police Station right away, Ana" Ray said, and stepped on the gas pedal." He thinks he can get away with assaulting you?! Clearly he doesn't know who your father is…"

Ana sighed deeply, and watched her dad." Calm down, please"

"Calm down?!" he exclaimed with his eyes fixed on the road." How do you expect me to calm down, Ana? He hurt you!"

It was heartbreaking to see her father this way, making Ana choke up.

"You're an adult, I know that." Ray said, his voice trembling from anger." But, you're still MY little girl"

Ana wiped away her tears, and placed a hand on his upper arm." I know... and I don't say this enough, dad." She confessed." But I love you"

"Love you too, kiddo" Ray said, while trying to swallow the lump in his throat.

.

.

As they walked into the Police Station, Ray whispered in Ana's ear." If you see the 'stranger' ever again, Ana. Will you thank him for me?"

Ana smiled at Ray, and nodded." Of course I will" she promised.

.

.

After Ana pressed charges against Jack Hyde, they drove to her apartment.

"How is it at work, dad?" Ana asked, while walking into the apartment building.

Ray sighed at that." That's what I wanted to discuss with you."

Ana furrowed her brows in response." What is it?"

"Let's go into your place first"

"OK"

.

.

Ray had placed Ana's bags in her bedroom, and walked back to the living room.

"Here you go, dad…" Ana said, and handed him a bottle of water.

"Thank you, sweetie"

They took a seat on the couch and that's when Ana asked." What is it that you needed to discuss with me?"

Ray took a swig from the bottle and locked eyes with Ana." I'm worried about you… about your safety, Ana"

She shook her head, and smiled." You don't have to… I'm safe in my apartment, dad."

"I'll be out of town again tonight, sweetie" Ray replied, while giving her a worried look." Work has been hectic lately, especially now that the CEO is on maternity leave"

Ana shook her head." If you gotta go, then you gotta go"

Ray grabbed her hand and squeezed it." I have a suggestion… While detective Sawyer handles your case against Hyde, why don't you ask one of your friends to live with you? Until I'm back from my business trip."

"No." Ana countered." It's not necessary, dad"

"I'm afraid, sweetie" he said, his voice trembling." If something bad happens to you, when I'm not here, I don't…"

But Ana cut him off gently." I'll be fine, dad…" she insisted, and gave him a kiss on the cheek." Thank you anyway for your concern"

Ray pulled her in an embrace, and held her tightly.

"I love you so much, Ana" he confessed." Since the divorce, you're all I have"

Well, that made Ana tear up.

She pulled back from the hug, and smiled through her tears." I'll ALWAYS be your little girl, dad"

He was just about to reply, when they both heard a knock on the door.

"Who could that be?" Ana said, and got up.

"Be careful" Ray warned." I'll open it. You stay here"

"Dad, don't be so paranoid…"

"Ana, listen to me" Ray told her, and walked over to the front door.

"Who is it?" he said aloud.

"Miss? Are you in there?"

When Ana heard his voice, her eyes went wide.

'Seriously?! It was Christian?'

.

.

… The next day, Ana was joined by Christian in her studio.

 _ **The evening before, Ana introduced him to Ray.**_

 _ **Well, Ray had a dozen things to say to Christian and also fired a dozen questions at him.**_

 _ **He tried answering them all, the way only Christian does; short and without too many details.**_

 _ **At one point Ana noticed how uncomfortable Christian looked, so she decided to lighten things up by telling the two men that she was hungry.**_

 _ **Ray ordered food, and so they had an awkward, but nice dinner together.**_

 _ **Ana felt embarrassed by her dad, and had even whispered to him to tone down with the questions, and what does he do?**_

 _ **Out of the blue, Ray asked Christian if he could look after Ana, while he was abroad.**_

" _ **Dad! You cannot ask him that!" she scolded him, giving him the 'eyes'.**_

" _ **I bet Christian wants to go back home to Oregon…" Ana told Ray, her eyes locked onto his.**_

 _ **Then she looked over to Christian." Don't listen to my dad… you were planning on going home, weren't you?"**_

 _ **Christian shook his head in response." No, I wasn't." he told Ana, his gray eyes locked onto hers." If you need my help, I'm available, Miss…"**_

 _ **(Ray had also told Christian about the assault charges against Hyde… Ana and even Ray himself didn't know why, but he had a gut feeling that he could trust the 'stranger' with protecting his only daughter)**_

 _ **When Ana didn't respond, Christian repeated what he just said." I'm available, Miss"**_

 _ **She rolled her eyes in annoyance. Now her dad made Christian worry about her safety also!**_

" _ **No, I'll be fine, Christian" she told him." I thank you from the bottom of my heart for saving my life. And also, for bringing me to the hospital. But I'm OK now… you don't HAVE to do this…"**_

 _ **Ana said it in such a convincing manner, and yet it didn't change Christian's mind." That man could still be after you. Especially now that the Police is involved." He insisted." And I know I don't HAVE to do this, but I want to"**_

 _ **In response, Ana groaned aloud.**_

 _ **Nope, the way Christian was looking at her right now, meant just one thing:**_

 _ **He had made up his mind and was going to stay to protect her no matter what she'd do or say…**_

Ana was busy with painting, when Christian walked up to her.

"You are a very talented artist, Miss"

Ana rolled her eyes at him in response." My name is Ana…" she told him, and went further with her work.

"I just wanted you to know I found your work fascinating" he countered, and walked away from her.

For the rest of the day, Christian was like a shadow. When they weren't alone, there was no sign of him. It's like he vanished into thin air. However, she knew and felt that he was somewhere inside the studio, keeping the promise that he made to Ray.

' **Keep her safe for me, please?' Her father had said to Christian, before he left.**

Ana's friends and acquaintances dropped by the studio to ask how she was doing, and also asked her about her upcoming art exhibition.

Well, the more they asked Ana about it, the more nervous, anxious and angry she got.

Why? She was way behind her schedule! She lost so many workdays, because she had been assaulted, stayed in Oregon for five days and was in the hospital for four more days.

At the end of the day, Ana was a complete wreck!

It was almost 6 PM, when Christian walked inside Ana's 'sanctuary'.

"It's getting late, Miss." He told her in that monotone voice." Shouldn't we go back to your apartment? You must be famished."

Ana groaned aloud, and threw her paint brush at the wall." I'm so fucking screwed!" she shouted, while tears pooled in her eyes.

He looked at Ana, those piercing gray eyes locked on hers, brows furrowed." What exactly are you trying to say?"

In response, she began to grab her bag and phone and stormed out the room." You are so hopeless!" she hissed." Let's go"

Christian followed her, and asked." Excuse me, Miss?"

When they reached the front door of the building, Ana turned her head and faced him." I'm not going to meet my deadline! My exhibition is just around the corner, and I don't have the amount of pieces needed." She said, while tears rolled down her cheek." And then this fucking thing with Hyde, and also my thigh, it hurts when I'm cold!"

As he looked at Ana, he felt this strange tug at his heart.

He felt sorry for her.

"Miss, I cannot help you with your work. But, right now all I know is that we need to go." Christian told her." You need rest that much I know, and you need to be fed."

"I'm not hungry!" she countered." All I can think about right now is my upcoming exhibition"

"I can see that." Christian told her." But, that doesn't take away the fact that you need some rest, a bath maybe and food in your belly… let's go. I'll make some dinner for you."

.

.

Approximately twenty five minutes later, Ana walked into her bedroom, while Christian was in the kitchen, preparing dinner for the two of them.

(On the way home, they stopped at the grocery store, because Ana literally had nothing in the fridge.)

She locked the bathroom door, and looked at her reflection in the mirror.

Crap! She looked like crap!

As she let out a deep breath, Ana pondered how the hell she was going to finish all of her work.

Nope, she still had no solution for it. While wiping away the tears from her eyes, Ana decided to suck it up. She took off Christian's leather jacket, and placed it gently on the counter.

(It was only a ten-minute walk, so they walked from the studio to her apartment. And when it got a bit chilly, Christian lent Ana his jacket)

Within minutes she stepped inside the bathtub. As the warm water enveloped her cold body, she let out a deep breath." Oh, God... so good." she mumbled.  
The warm water felt amazing! As her eyes fell shut, Ana took in the wonderful feeling. It was then, when she realized that she hadn't taken her medication.

'Argh!' She got up, and walked towards her jeans. She was relieved to see the two bottles inside the pockets. The subscription said to take in two pills, but she decided to take three instead. It was going to help her relax more. After that, Ana sank into the warm water once again.

'Yes... this was better.' she thought.  
Ana lightly massaged the sides of her head, slowly tumbling into a deep sleep.  
Meanwhile, Christian was waiting for Ana at the dining table. His stomach was growling violently; he was famished.

"What is she doing?" he muttered under his breath, and walked up the stairs. As he stood in front of the bathroom door, he knocked on it.  
"Miss? Are you OK in there?" he said aloud, and when she did not answer, Christian huffed.

She hated it, when he called her 'Miss' instead of Ana, and he knew it. So, he decided to call her by her name. He imagined how Ana sat in the bath tub, annoyed by him not calling her by her first name.

"Ana?" he tried, and knocked on the bathroom door." Ana?! Are you OK in there?"  
He waited, but didn't receive an answer from the woman with the long, chestnut-colored locks. As he listened closely, he furrowed his brows.

" What the... ?" he said, and knocked harder, almost breaking down the door.  
When Ana didn't react to the loud pounding on the door, Christian made a split decision and broke it down with one swift kick. As he stepped inside, he saw her in the tub completely submerged in the water.

"Oh, no. Ana!" Christian shouted, and grabbed her roughly on her upper arms.  
As he carried her out of the water, he kept calling out her name." Ana! Wake up! Ana!"

Christian gently placed her on the bathroom floor, and immediately covered her body with the first towel he saw. At the sight of her pale lips and face, his heart rammed wildly against his rib cage.  
" Ana!" he called out.

No, no, no, no… "I will not lose you!" were the heart-wrenching words that slipped from his lips." I've lost too many lives already"  
The sight of her lifeless body in his arms and her pale lips, almost made him panic. However, Christian demanded from himself to save this young woman's life!

"Damn it! What did you do, Ana?" he exclaimed, and when he still didn't see any reaction from her, Christian began performing mouth-to-mouth resuscitation on her.  
He knew what fear was; he knew it all too well. But at that very moment, he was beyond terrified. He couldn't let her die. No, not on his watch!

He didn't save her life then to lose her now! Seconds passed, but to him it seemed like hours. And then finally, Ana coughed up all the water that she had swallowed.  
Thank Goodness!

As a sigh escaped Christian's lips, his eyes fell shut for a few seconds.' She's alive.'  
When he opened his eyes, Christian watched as she carefully sat up with the towel around her body. Ana looked up at him, her eyes filled with confusion.

"Wha- what happened? Why am I lying on the bathroom floor?" she asked, as her eyes welled up." Christian? And why is my bathroom door damaged?"  
As those words reached his ears, Christian's eyes landed on the two bottles on the bathroom counter. Well, that angered him…

'Did she do it on purpose?!' he thought, as he clenched his hands together.  
"Christian? Tell me?" Ana asked, still confused about the whole situation.

In response, he locked eyes with her." You almost drowned, Miss…What did you do? Did you do it on purpose?" he asked, his clear, gray eyes filled with anger and disbelief...

* * *

Note: Thank you for reading and the reviews. :)


	10. You are that fuel

**.**

 **You are that fuel**

 **xxx [[[ ]]] xxx**

* * *

 _ **.**_

 _ **In response, he locked eyes with her." You almost drowned, Miss…What did you do? Did you do it on purpose?" he asked, his clear, gray eyes filled with anger and disbelief...**_

 _ **...**_

As it dawned on Ana what he was insinuating, she looked at him, hurt written in her pretty blue eyes. 'How dare he?' She thought.' I would never!'

After that, she glared at Christian.

"Get out!" she threatened, while getting on her feet.

"I asked y—"Christian began, but she mercilessly cut him off.

"Get the _fuck_ out! Now!" she spat, the venom in her voice evident and clear.

He huffed in response, and decided to let it go.

For now…

Tears welled up in Ana's eyes, the anger consuming her whole being. How could he think so low of her? She would never be that selfish!

"We will continue this talk." He simply said, not waiting for her response and walked out the bathroom.

The moment he was gone, Ana wrapped the towel tightly around her body. She wanted to get dressed in here, but that big bully had broken down the freaking door! As a sigh escaped her lips, she inspected the door. Yup, it was damaged beyond repair…

Unbelievable!

"Savage." Was the word that left her lips, as she walked towards her bedroom and changed in there instead.

… ..

.

Christian was staring at the fireplace, a hundred and one thoughts swirling around his head. The crackling sound of the firewood was the only thing he heard; it was that quiet in Ana's apartment. As he took a swig from the bottled water, he contemplated what to do next. He wanted to call someone to help him with the young woman with the long chestnut-colored locks.

Should he call Ray? Or maybe Mia… or his mom?  
No! He refused to get involved with his family…

What now? What was he supposed to do with a young woman who was so desperate that she wanted to kill herself? The situation he was in was escalating rapidly; he had no idea how to handle this.

Christian was just about to grab his phone, when he saw Ana walk down the stairs. She was wearing a pair of black skinny jeans, and a pink woolen sweater. Her dark brown hair was up in a ponytail, her bangs falling in her face. He hadn't paid much attention to it before now, but the way the light of the fireplace illuminated the living room, made him really see her. Ana was absolutely stunning...

For just a couple of seconds he let his guard down around her, but shook that thought off immediately. When she stood near the dining table, he motioned her to take a seat.  
"Let's eat. You must be famished." He said, and immediately dug in without waiting for a response from her.

Ana had the urge to ignore him, but he was right. She was really hungry. They ate in silence, both lost in their own thoughts.  
"To answer your—"she began, but he also started talking." I wanted to—  
"You go first." She said.

"No, you go." Christian insisted.  
Playing with the last bit of food on her plate, Ana let out a deep breath, her eyes focused on her plate." I didn't do it on purpose." She stated, her voice low.

Christian observed the brunette, and wasn't sure if she was telling the truth or not. He didn't know her that well, because he'd just met her. And this was really not his area of expertise; talking to people about their feelings and stuff.

At the moment, he'd give anything for either Ray or Mia to barge in so they could take over for him. He really wasn't up to it.  
When he promised Ana's father that he'd keep her safe, Christian never anticipated things to get this difficult.

To protect her from people, keep her safe: Those were easy, but talk to her about what's going through that stubborn head of hers? He'd probably get an F for that one. Christian really didn't know how to handle this, so he thought hard before saying the wrong things to her.

He absolutely didn't want to make Ana feel worse.  
Moments passed, and Christian hadn't realized that she was impatiently waiting for him to react.

She misinterpreted his silence for something else, not knowing he was trying to be careful with his words. But, when Ana had enough, she glared at Christian.  
"You could at least talk to me, you know!" she snapped at him." What is it? Don't you believe me? Do you really think I wanted to off myself? Huh?"

He instantly locked eyes with her, and replied." What are those in the bottles? What are they for? Are you telling me that you accidentally took in more pills than was prescribed?"

Ana rolled her eyes at him, got up and closed the gap between them. "So I took in three pills! I sometimes do that, OK? It's no big deal!"

Christian also got on his feet and looked down at her." No big deal! What do you mean, NO BIG DEAL?"

He towered over her, but Ana held her own. She didn't mean it that way, but now Christian misinterpreted **_her_ **words.

"Miss, do you know what you put me through when I saw you in the bath tub? You weren't breathing anymore!" he growled, his gray eyes piercing." You had no pulse! I thought surely that you were dead! Do you understand? You almost died, and here you are saying nonchalantly that it was no big deal?"

Ana clenched her hands, and sighed." I didn't mean it like that, OK?"

"Then what do you mean? Doesn't your life mean _anything_ to you?" Christian asked, his voice a pitch lower than usual, while clenching his jaws." You, Miss, you have people who care about you. A father who'd do anything for you… don't you get it? And I promised him to keep you safe… I know I am capable of doing that, but _**not**_ if you don't value your own precious life, Ana"

This was the first time he called her by her first name without her forcing him to do so.

As those words tumbled from his lips, Ana's emotions got the better of her. The nightmare about Hyde, the stress from work, plus Christian angry at her right now had become too much for her heart to take. It was then, when Ana faltered.

Nobody else but Christian was around, so she didn't care to keep up appearances. She broke down, and let it all out. Her body shook violently from her loud sobs. Taken aback, Christian watched as Ana cried. He felt so uncomfortable, and didn't know what to do or say.

'Damn it! Why aren't you here, Mia?' He thought.

Christian had the urge to walk away, but he knew he couldn't do that. He should not. Instead, he took a step closer to Ana and wrapped his arms around her small frame. He wasn't sure how she would react, but he took the risk anyway. This seemed like the right thing to do.

Right?

Ana didn't expect the hug; she almost pushed him away. But, he radiated warmth. And warmth meant comfort. So, she let Christian pull her into his strong, warm arms.

As he held her, Christian felt that strange tug at his heart once again. He wasn't used to human contact anymore, since he returned back from his last deployment. Deidre occasionally hugged him, but besides her, Christian hadn't interacted with others while living in Oregon. He was a loner, his PTSD preventing him from making human contact with other people, even his siblings and mother.

So yeah, hugging Ana felt weird but also… nice?

At one point Ana's sobs subsided, and that's when she realized how much she needed this hug. It wasn't an awkward hug, or a loose or fast one. It was a proper hug; one she didn't even know she needed. As her eyes fluttered shut, Christian held her even tighter. His heart was doing strange things at the moment. She was feisty, and yet an innocent, and didn't deserve what had happened to her. In his opinion, that Hyde person wasn't done with Ana. He tried eliminating her once, and surely was going to try again. But, Christian wasn't going to let it go that far. He was going to protect her from Hyde no matter what...

.

.

.

They were drinking tea, when Ana confessed. "It wasn't on purpose, Christian. I didn't attempt to kill myself, OK?" she told him." I sometimes take in three pills, but this time I underestimated how tired I was. I didn't think that it would come to that. Do you believe me?"

As those words reached his ears, he nodded. "OK."

Ana narrowed her eyes, and asked. "OK? What do you mean by it? Do you believe me or not?"

He looked at her, and replied." I think so."

"You think so?" At that, Ana shook her head." I'm telling you the truth. I would never harm myself!"

"Miss, please. Don't get so worked up about it. It doesn't matter what I think." He pointed out." I'm just the guy who promised your father to keep you safe, and I will. I promise you. Why don't you go to bed? We both know that you need it."

Ana bit her bottom lip in response, doing her very best not to yell at him." Well, what about you? You are tired too. Aren't you going to sleep?"

"Yes, I will. But first I'm going to double-check if your apartment is secure." Christian replied, the tone of his voice soft." Go on now"

Ana nodded. "OK. Good night... Christian. And thank you for saving me from drowning."

"Good night, Miss..."

.

.

… **Later that night …**

 **.**

Ana woke up, gasping for air. She was in a sitting position and observed her surroundings. At first she didn't recognize her own bedroom. Where was she again?

Oh. After a minute or two she remembered that she was home… safe.

As she touched her cheek, Ana felt the hot tears rolling down.

Ana then closed her eyes for a couple of moments, trying to forget the images of the day Hyde and his thugs had assaulted her. But, it was no use. It's been more than a week and she could still remember every little detail of that evening. She shook her head furiously and got up.

"Let it go, Ana. It was a nightmare." she whispered, as she desperately tried to hold onto reality.

After she had calmed down a bit, Ana went to the bathroom to wash her face. She then walked back into the bedroom, her eyes landing on the clock. It was 4:30 AM.

So, she got into bed again, attempting to drift off to dreamland. But no matter how hard Ana tried, she was unable to fall asleep. At one point, she felt so tired and powerless. The events of the last days had taken a toll on her. As her eyes fell shut, a soft sob escaped her plump, pale lips.

"Miss? Are you OK?" she heard Christian say from the other side of the bedroom door.

She immediately swallowed her tears." Uhuh. Yeah, I'm fine, Christian."

"You sure?" he asked.

"Yes, Christian!" she said, and gritted her teeth.

"Can I come in? I want to see for myself if everything is fine."

"Why don't you just kick down the door, you're good at that. Aren't you?" Ana countered.

But, after those words left her lips, she immediately regretted it. It was no time to make bad jokes. He was being serious, and she knew that.

"What?" she heard him say.

He sounded annoyed.

In response, Ana rolled her eyes and opened the bedroom door for him." Come in."

Christian looked around the bedroom, and observed Ana from head to toe.

"Are you satisfied? I'm not attempting anything, OK?" she promised, while looking him in the eyes.

'Gosh, his eyes are gorgeous' she thought all of a sudden. But right after that, Ana thought.' Whoah! Where did **_THAT_ **come from?'

After one last glance, Christian nodded." Good… I'm satisfied."

He was just about to walk away, when Ana stopped him. "Wait." she said, and held him on his upper arm.

"What is it?" Christian asked, a bit shocked because he didn't expect Ana to touch him.

As they locked eyes with each other, she sighed deeply." I've a favor to ask you"

"I'm listening"

She cleared her throat, and looked a bit uncomfortable.

"Tell me" he insisted." It can't be _that_ bad"

By Ana's calculations, it was doable to create the pieces that she needed for her exhibition. Barely, but still, it was doable. She won't get 8-hours sleep for weeks, but that was fine with her. She was willing to sacrifice sleep and rest for her career. No problem.

But, in doing so Ana needed a 'boost'… something or someone who triggered her inspiration. And that someone was standing right in front of her.

"Miss? What is it? What do you need?" he said, and looked at her questioningly.

"I'd like to draw you again, Christian… and don't be angry at me, please." Ana said softly." My inspiration needs to be fueled, and strangely YOU are that fuel"

* * *

Note: Oops... will he do it? Thank u for reading and the feedback... :)


	11. Redemption

.

 **Redemption**

 **xxx [[[]]] xxx**

* * *

 _._

 _ **"I'd like to draw you again, Christian… and don't be angry at me, please." Ana said softly." My inspiration needs to be fueled, and strangely YOU are that fuel"**_

As those words reached his ears, Christian watched Ana, his brows furrowed, wondering if she was being truthful.

Ana's eyes were locked onto his, her heart beating 80 miles per hour.

'Oh, God oh God, oh God, I shouldn't have asked him that... He's so going to leave Seattle, and go back home, because of my big, fat mouth!' she thought, while Christian seemed to ponder what to say to her.

His gray eyes were still fixed onto hers, his gaze piercing, making her feel so uncomfortable.

"You know what," she started, because she couldn't bear the silence any longer." Never mind"

Then Ana took a deep breath, and walked over to her bedroom door. Without looking Christian in the eyes, she swung the door open and said." I'm tired… good night, Christian"

As he walked out her bedroom, Christian still frowned, and tried making eye contact with her.

However, she purposely avoided eye contact, because there was a slight blush on her cheeks.

Ana still couldn't take it, whenever he'd look at her like he saw right through her… he didn't talk much, but when he looked at her as if she was being dissected, she didn't feel like herself.

But the weird thing about it is that Ana kind of liked it…

Fucking hell! No, she didn't like him, did she?!

Nope, most definitely not!

.

.

.

The next morning, Ana was awoken by a steady knock on her bedroom door.

"Hold your horses, OK?!" She snapped, and searched for her slippers." Do you know what time it is, Christian?"

"Open up, Miss"

She opened the door, her chestnut-colored locks in a messy pony tail, while blinking at the man who stood in front of her.

"What do you want?" Ana asked, and yawned aloud.

She observed him, and noticed that he had shaved and showered.

God… he looked so different without the beard.

"Miss, I'm here to help you"

"So?" Ana replied, and inhaled his wonderful scent.

God… he smelled good. Wonder what deodorant he was wearing. I should ask him. Or not!

"Miss" she heard him say, taking her out of her thoughts.

"Yes?" Ana replied, and acted nonchalantly.

"I've been thinking about your request" he told Ana with a serious look on his face.

Ana's eyes widened, as it dawned on her that he was considering it." Really?!"

He nodded in response." I've decided to let you draw me" Christian told Ana, his hypnotizing eyes fixed on hers.

'Yup, he was doing it again… shamelessly staring at her. This has gotta stop, buddy!' Ana thought.

"So, what do you think about it" she asked, while looking hopeful at him.

Ana couldn't believe it, and smiled from ear to ear." You really are giving me permission to draw or paint you?"

"Yes, Miss… that's what I'm saying" he told her.

"Seriously?!" she exclaimed, and jumped up and hugged Christian.

As she grabbed him, and landed in his arms, Christian stood frozen in his spot." Miss, you don't have to touch me"

Ana pulled back, and with half a smile she looked at him dumbfounded." What?"

He let out a deep breath, and said." You can make a drawing of me under one condition"

She nodded." Of course, what is it"

"When you're done with the drawing, do not show it to anyone"

She shook her head." But… but why?"

"That's the deal, Miss… take it or leave it"

"I'll take it of course!" Ana countered, and smiled widely at him.

"So, when do you want me?"

As those words reached her ears, Ana's eyes widened." Excuse me?"

He furrowed his brows." When do you want me to pose for you" Christian clarified.

"Oh! That's what you mean? Well, as soon as we've arrived at the studio of course" She told Christian.

"OK, that's fine with me"

Ana smiled widely, and said." I'm going to shower and get ready… can you wait for me?"

He nodded." Of course, Miss" he replied, and walked down the stairs.

Ana was so happy that he allowed her to make a drawing of him, so it didn't bother her at all that he still called her 'Miss'.

.

.

.

Approximately one and a half hour later, Ana set up her easel, and checked if she had everything needed for the drawing.

After a few minutes, she looked at Christian, and noticed that he was patiently waiting for her.

As their eyes met, he asked. "Where do you want me?"

"Huh?!" Ana replied." Excuse me?"

"Where do you want me to sit? Or must I stand?" he clarified once more, making Ana feel as if the room had caught fire.

"You just stand there" Ana replied, while trying to ignore her heated cheeks.

"Miss," Christian said all of a sudden, while boring his eyes into hers.

"YES… Christian?"

"I've a second condition"

Ana narrowed her eyes, and said." What is it now?"

"Do not draw my face"

"Huh?!" Ana said." What do you mean?"

"You can draw my arms, legs, back and torso… just not my face"

'But that's the BEST part of your whole body!' were the words that ALMOST slipped out.

But fortunately, Ana was able to hold them back.

"Why?"

"Because I said so" he simply told her.

Ana rolled her eyes at him, and nodded." Fine!"

"Good"

As a sigh escaped her lips, she pondered how to draw him now. She had this plan to make a replica from the first drawing, but it looks like she had to be creative and think of something else.

He waited patiently, and kept staring at Ana…

While she did some pondering, the wheels in Christian's head was turning… It wasn't a simple decision for him, letting Ana make another drawing.

However, he wanted to help Ana get her inspiration and also, he had noticed that his nightmares had become less, since a few days ago.

Was it Ana? Was she the one responsible for it? In some weird way, did she make him feel at ease without even knowing it herself?

Christian wasn't sure, and he still wasn't ready to talk about his trauma to her. However, in some weird way he noticed changes in himself.

He had an unexplainable desire to protect and help this young woman.

Why?

Well, he wasn't sure. But, he would like to find out. Christian wasn't the kind of person to believe in fate, and destiny. That's just BS, but since his return from his last deployment, Ana seem to be the only person who made him do things he would never do for others, and made him feel the things he used to.

Was it pity? Was it admiration? He wasn't sure.

All Christian knew was that he was meant to be right here in this studio with the woman with the long, chestnut colored locks…

While he patiently waited for her instructions, Ana watched Christian, and was in awe by the specimen in front of her.

Since the night that she had drawn him, she had noticed that he was a beautiful, beautiful man. But, that night Ana only saw him as the person who had triggered her inspiration.

And right now?!

Well, right now she was seeing him through very different eyes…

"Miss, are you going to keep watching me without drawing me?" He asked at one point.

It was then, when she decided." I need you take off your shirt" Ana instructed.

Christian nodded, and without questioning her, he took off his shirt.

Ana took a deep breath, and said." Good. Now turn around so I can make a drawing of your back"

He nodded, and turned his back to her.

She nodded, and it was then, when Ana was transported in her own little bubble, while she silently draw the man who had saved her life more than once…

.

.

.

 **… Approximately two weeks later…**

 **.**

 **.**

It was late in the evening, and Ana was exhausted.

"Are you going to finish up?" Christian asked.

She was just about to reply, when her phone rang. So, she nodded to Christian and mouthed." Yes"

While Ana was on the phone with a potential client, he closed up the studio for her.

He'd been doing it for these past weeks, and it maybe just a simple task, but to him it was a big deal.

These past days, Christian had been so focused on their daily routine, making sure she didn't forget to eat and helped her with moving and displaying her pieces. He not only protected Ana till Hyde was caught, but he also kept her company, while she worked long hours.

"Great news, Christian!" he heard Ana say, taking him out of his thoughts.

She had ended the phone conversation, and looked at Christian with sparkling, happy eyes.

He furrowed his brows like usual and asked." What happened?"

It was then, when she explained to him that the potential client of hers had told his friends about her art exhibition.

"They've accepted my invitation." Ana said, and jumped up." Maybe, just maybe they'll buy a few pieces. If they do, I'll be able to pay off a huge amount to the bank"

As he watched her laugh and be happy, Christian felt a tug at his heart.

Right then, he all of a sudden had a memory of someone else... That child soldier...

Christian remembered how happy he looked, when he had given the boy a small bag filled with different kinds of candy bars.

.

.

… **Flashback …**

 **.**

 **.**

 **.**

" _What are you doing, Grey" Sam Nichols, his NAVY buddy scolded Christian, as he handed the boy that bag of candy bars._

" _He's just an innocent boy, Nichols" Christian had said." How old could he be? 13? 14? He won't do us harm"_

" _Stop giving them stuff, Grey" Nichols insisted, and gave Christian a disapproving look." If you keep doing that, they'll come back again and again."_

" _So what?" Christian said stubbornly." We have more than enough… maybe the little guy's just hungry"_

" _I'm warning, you Grey" his NAVY buddy told him." Stop doing it"_

" _Why?"_

" _He could be a spy" Nichols had warned._

 _Christian shook his head at hearing that." You're such a negative person, Nichols." He told his colleague." He's not a spy"_

" _How can you be sure, Grey? We have to stay on full alert" Nichols had told him" Our enemies are targeting us, and they won't think twice about using child soldiers"_

" _I agree with you, but not this boy… he's special" Christian told Nichols, but unfortunately that would be the very last thing he'd ever say to his NAVY buddy and friend._

 _._

 _._

… **END of flashback …**

.

.

"Christian? Are you alright?" he heard Ana say, taking him back to the present time.

"Huh?" he said, and mumbled a "I'm sorry, what did you say just now?"

It was then, when Ana gave him a concerned look." Christian, you were like 'gone' for a couple of minutes," she pointed out." Everything OK with you?"

At first he avoided her gaze, and he attempted to change the subject, while packing his back pack." Tell me more about your wealthy, potential clients."

Ana closed the gap between them, and wondered what had spooked him so much. Not so long ago, his face had turned pale, and the look on it devastating.

"Uhmm… well, they are art lovers and I've even received an email," Ana began, but decided to talk about Christian instead." I cannot do this"

In response, he finally locked eyes with Ana, and looked at her questioningly." What… you can't do what?"

Ana stood in front of him and sighed." Act like nothing's wrong"

He shook his head." Is there something wrong?" Christian countered. Are you OK?"

"I'm fine, but it's you… you should've seen the look on your face not so long ago," Ana explained." I'm here you know, if you need someone to talk to, Christian… I didn't wanna say anything yet, cause we've just gotten to know each other. But, I cannot pretend like nothing's wrong either. I can't bear to see you suffer, Christian..."

"What are you talking about, Miss?" he said in a calm, but cold tone.

Normally she would've backed down, but Ana refused to let him scare her.

So, she continued." I saw you, when we were still in Oregon… it was late at night and you were having some kind of nightmare? Christian, you screamed at someone to put their weapon down! You told them that y... that you didn't want to h- hurt them..."

As those gut-wrenching words tumbled from her lips, tears began to pool in Ana's eyes, it was as if she was experiencing it again… that night all she wanted was to help him. However, she did _not_.

But, right now she had the opportunity to do it.

She can help Christian…

This whole time, he looked her straight in the eyes, but did not budge an inch.

"Talking will help" she tried, but instead of answering her, Christian walked over to the red couch, and took a seat, his arms crossed, his face serious.( Just like the first time they met)

He was shutting the world out, even her…

"You've helped me in so many ways, Christian" she confessed, sounding very convincing." And I'm forever thankful... Let me return the favor. Will you let me?"

As their eyes stayed fixed on one another, he pondered and pondered about the situation and his ordeal.

But no matter what Ana told him, he believed the same thing...

Christian believed that he didn't deserve anything good in his life… not after what he had done two and a half years ago.

"PLEASE, talk to me?" Ana insisted.

'I don't deserve anything' were the words that bounced inside his skull, while looking at her.' I don't deserve a friend like Ana… and I most definitely do NOT deserve redemption.'

That's what Christian thought, and what he believed.

But, whenever she was around, and whenever she looked at him like he mattered, she made him forget all the bad. In its place, she unknowingly showed him all the good things that life still had to offer. Yes, Ana was obviously a handful, feisty, and yet most of the time she can be compassionate, and very kind.

Sometimes even endearing. Little by little, she was making him enjoy his current life, and making him see some of the colors in it. Colors that he purposely refused to acknowledge for some time.

Like the color of her clothing, the color of her shiny hair, the color of her lips, and color of her eyes. Oh, those eyes were easy to get lost into. They were absolutely mesmerizing.

She trusted him and he knew that. But, did he deserve her trust?

No, he definitely didn't deserve it! He was too damaged, his heart too cold.

"Christian?" he heard Ana say, taking him out of his thoughts once more.

He looked up, and saw her standing right in front of him." You OK?" she asked, as she grabbed his left hand.

Christian was startled by the skin on skin contact, and wanted to pull his hand back.

But, as their eyes locked, blue meeting gray ones, he got so lost, making him forget what he wanted to do just now.

"What's wrong?" she said softly, while looking at him questioningly." You do not have to tell me everything… we can start with something small. Were you in the ARMY?"

'No, not the ARMY,' He wanted to say, but didn't.

The only thing on his mind right now was to flee. Now!

Christian had the urge to get up, and run. But, his legs weren't cooperating at all.

No, no, no. He's been compromised!

While Ana squeezed his hand, Christian held in his breath. He wanted to tell her to stop, but the words refused to leave his lips.

He hadn't realized that a tear had rolled down his cheek, but Ana had. So she wiped it away." What's wrong? Please, tell me" she asked softly.

Christian wanted to say.' I'm a bad man, Ana… and I can never take back what I've done. The young life I've taken… I killed that boy, and I'll regret it till the day that I die.'

But, he was unable to say those things. He truly wished that he could open up to her, he needed to tell someone about that child soldier that was killed. But he could not.

Instead, he sat there motionless, looking up at the woman with the long, chestnut-colored locks, her pretty eyes still locked onto his, while her warm fingers caressed his cheek.

"Why do you look so sad? What are you thinking about, Christian?" she asked, as her warm hand squeezed his.

"I... I, erhmm, you shouldn't look at me that way, Ana." he finally was able to say. "I don't deserve..." he continued, but she gently cut him off.

"What are you talking about? You've been keeping me safe. You saved my life twice already." Ana said in such a convincing manner." You're one of the good guys. So, when I see sadness in your eyes; of course you deserve compassion. It's the least I can give you. Right?"

She then smiled at him.

In response, Christian shook his head fiercely. "No. You're so wrong about that… I don't deserve anything good in my life... not anymore"

"What do you mean by that?" he heard Ana say, while breaking eye contact.

However, Christian refused to give her an explanation, afraid that Ana would hate him if she ever discovered what he had done...

* * *

 **Note: Thank you sooooooo much for reading my work and reviewing! :)**

 **YOU ROCK!**

 _ **I will be UPDATING 'When did I become so numb?' this upcoming friday. ;)**_

 **Leave me a comment for this chapter?**

 **And to the lovely readers who suggested that Ana could draw any body part except for his face: THANK YOU. ;)**

 **Till the next one,**

 **J**


	12. What can I do, Christian?

**Note: Hi all,**

 **I'm so sorry for the delay, but I'm sick as a dog since Tuesday.**

 **For those of you who think this story is going too Slow, I'm sorry.**

 **This one is a SLOW-burn... Bear with me?**

 **Thank you.**

 **xoxo**

* * *

 _ **.**_

 **What can I do, Christian?**

 **xxx [[[]]] xxx**

 **..**

* * *

 _ **.**_

 _ **"What do you mean by that?" he heard Ana say, while breaking eye contact.**_

 _ **However, Christian refused to give her an explanation, afraid that Ana would hate him if she ever discovered what he had done...**_

In response, Ana cupped his face in a gentle but firm manner, wanting to show him that she was being very serious." Look at me, please?" she asked.

When he looked up, and saw the way her eyes were locked onto his, it became too much for him." DON'T…" were the words that tumbled from his lips.

At that very moment Ana didn't know what came over her. It was like something had taken over her mind and body. The man in front of her had been _so_ good to her, doing his best to keep her safe and did things for her no one had ever done.

She assumed that he has been through a lot in his life.

Where was his family? His parents? Did he have siblings? There was so much she didn't know about him.

Did he leave them? Has he contacted them lately? So many questions, but no answers, because she wasn't sure if he was ready to hear them.

Ana knew that Christian had his own demons to fight against, every single night. Just the thought of it, tore at Ana's heart and soul.

"That must be exhausting, Christian…" she began, and let go of his face.

He immediately missed her warm hands on his skin, and let out a deep breath." What is?" he whispered.

"To keep everything bottled up inside, and constantly battling your own demons in your mind." she stated, and then grabbed both of his hands, as her heart rammed against her ribcage.

Usually, at this point her mind would be sending her red flags. It would tell her to stop! But not this time... this time her mind did what her heart told it to do.

At that very moment, Christian felt so connected to the wonderful brunette in front of him. She didn't know anything about his past, and still she was able to read him and understand. Everything around him faded, when Ana pulled at both his hands, making him get on his feet.

He towered over her, his eyes landing on hers once more. She had complete control over him; whatever she was about to do, he would simply comply.

"What can I do, Christian? What can I do to help?" she asked, her voice a mere whisper, while her eyes filled with so much compassion it hurt him." Can I do something to make you feel better?"

Christian shook his head in response." No. _I_ have to deal with them, because I caused them myself. It's my own fault."

Ana's eyes welled up, knowing that there was absolutely nothing she could do for him.

(He has to want it. If he didn't want to be helped, it was no use. No matter how hard she tried)

At one point her hand landed on his cheek again, making him suck in a deep breath.

"Why?" she asked." Why are you afraid to be touched?"

"I'm not afraid" he replied.

As her warm hand connected with his face, Christian's eyes fluttered shut once more.

"Ana…" he uttered, his voice so desperate it broke her heart into tiny pieces.

"Yes?" she replied, her voice breaking.

When his eyes opened, Christian lightly grabbed the hand that was resting on his cheek. She held in her breath, as she looked at him. She was seeing so much of him right now. More than what he had shown of himself the last weeks. Christian was beginning to open up to her, and that made her happy but it also terrified her tremendously. What if she would fall for him? That wouldn't be wise, that much her head told her heart.

Yup, he's OFF limits, she decided a while back.

Why? Because he needed to heal first. Ana recognized the signs… he was suffering from PTSD. And the last thing someone like him needed was someone like her falling head over heels for him…

So, yes. Christian was most definitely OFF limits to her.

"Ana?" he repeated, and looked at her questioningly.

In response, she smiled at him, and decided that she was going to do everything in her power to help him heal. After all that he had done for her, a 'stranger', she decided that it was her time to return the favor, no matter how much he would resist.

As she looked into his eyes, Christian felt so lighthearted. As if this 'stranger', this feisty, young woman was helping him carry the heavy burden that he'd been carrying for two and a half years…

While a huge lump formed in his throat, Christian squeezed her hand gently and brought it towards his lips. His eyes fell shut, and then he kissed her hand with _so_ much warmth and intensity, Ana swore it would make angels cry…

Tears were pooling in her eyes, and God she felt like doing an ugly cry right now. But just as he opened his eyes, and she smiled, a loud noise filled the studio, making both of them jump up.

SHIT.

"The fire alarm" Ana said, and that's when Christian reacted.

He grabbed her by the hand, and dragged her out of her sanctuary.

"Wait!" She shouted, and stopped in her tracks." MY paintings!"

It was then, when she tore her hand from his grip, and ran towards her paintings.

"Ana! Don't!" he shouted, but she was already grabbing her work.

Christian saw her phone on the work table and grabbed it swiftly. He dialed the number of the Fire Department immediately.

While he was on the phone, Ana looked at him for one split second, her eyes oh so pleading.

After he hung up, Christian sprung to action and grabbed everything that he knew was precious to Ana.

There was a cart she used for moving her paint and other heavy stuff. In a flash, he placed all the drawings and paintings in it, and then said. "Do you have everything you need?!"

"Yes" she replied, while tears pooled in her pretty, blue eyes, wondering how the fire originated.

"We should go! Now!" Ana heard Christian say, when they noticed all the smoke inside her studio.

Without hesitation, she nodded and that's when he grabbed her by her wrist." You first"

.

.

.

As they stepped out of the building, Ana felt numb all over, her hand still in Christian's.

"Why?" she sobbed, as they watched the firemen do their work.

Ana looked up, and saw that her neighbor's place above her studio was all up in flames.

"Oh no!" she uttered, while tears rolled down her cheeks." What will they do now?"

"Do you know them, Ana?"

She nodded." Yes, they're very nice people." Ana told him, her voice shaky." Maggie and Nick… they have three wonderful kids… where will they live now?"

"Are they still inside?!" Christian asked, the tone of his voice a pitch higher than usual, his brows furrowed." Ana, do you know?!"

She shook her head." No, they're on vacation at Maggie's parents" Ana replied." She told me a couple of days ago… they had saved up enough for the trip to New Rochelle."

At one point, it became too much for her, so Ana plopped down on the ground.

"Ana? Get up." Christian told her, and grabbed her by her hand." Please… I'm sure your neighbors have a back-up plan"

"That's just it." She replied, her voice trembling slightly." They don't…"

It tore at his heart to see Ana so devastated, so he offered her his hand." There is always a solution to a problem" he said, while helping her on her feet.

The Captain of the fire department then told everyone who was at the scene to move backwards.

"Come on, people!" he shouted." It's for your own safety!"

Ana and Christian obeyed, their hands still connected.

As he grabbed the cart with all of Ana's precious work, he all of a sudden heard someone gasp aloud.

It was then, when Christian turned to look who it was.

As his eyes connected with hers, Christian's eyes went wide, and he swallowed hard.

"Christian?!" Ana heard a beautiful, young woman with blonde hair say.

She then watched the two, as they both looked dumbfounded at each other.

"I knew it." The blonde woman said." When I saw that your place was used, I told mom that it must be you…"

"Mia…" was the only thing Christian said, while squeezing Ana's hand oh so tightly.

She saw how this Mia person looked at Christian, her face so happy, and then Ana noticed how Mia's eyes darted towards Christian's hand… still holding hers.

The blonde then smiled widely, tears still pooling in her eyes." Hi, my name's Mia. I'm Christian's younger sister…"

.

.

.

… **Two weeks later …**

.

.

After Ana had made enough pieces for the day, she and Christian decided to do some training. Fortunately, her studio was spacious, and that's how he was able to transform one of the large rooms into a 'private gym'.

At the moment Christian was resting a bit and was watching as Ana hit and kicked the punching bag, just the way he had taught her. He had been training her for two weeks now, and was satisfied with the way she was improving.

Bit by bit, Ana got stronger, and faster. Christian wanted to keep it at only an hour of training daily, but she insisted on two hours.

"I just don't want to feel helpless… please, I am a fast learner"

And so the one-hour session turned into a two-hour one.

After just two weeks, her movements became more precise, and a bit more fluent compared to the first day...

Christian watched, as she wiped away the sweat from her face, and then punched and kicked the bag.

Ana was very flexible indeed. When he realized he thought of her in 'that' way, he mentally punched himself, trying to ignore the visions that were going through his mind just seconds ago.

To him, Ana was this feisty, and stubborn ray of light… she was confident, kind, brilliant, and a determined young woman.

And the way she was kicking the punching bag, would make anyone think that she had trained longer than just two weeks.

No one would expect that she was quite new at this. But that's just the way she was. If Ana had set her mind on learning/ doing something, she gave it her all. And she didn't give a damn what others thought.

Christian and Ana also had gotten even closer, but he still hadn't told her about his past. The reason for that? Well, he didn't want her to hate, or worse, be afraid of him. And… he just wasn't ready yet to open up old, painful wounds…

While he was lost in his thoughts, Ana was trying to concentrate during her exercises. However, her thoughts were nowhere near what she was doing at the moment. She was thinking about that attractive gray-eyed man.

Seriously?! Was she really fantasizing about Christian right now?!

Ana knew that he was watching her and that gave her a rush, her nerve endings tingling from her head to her toes. As a sigh escaped her pale lips, Ana attempted not to think about Christian in that particular way.

"He's off limits, Ana." She muttered, under her breath, so that the man in question would not hear her.

She was taken out of her thoughts by Christian though. Suddenly he stood behind her.

"Miss, I think you've had enough training for the day" he advised." It's almost 11 PM. Why don't you change so we can leave. Tomorrow we can continue."

In response, Ana turned around and locked eyes with him." No, I'm not tired yet. Ten more minutes."

"Come on, Miss. It's enough for today….Look at you, you're completely out of breath."

"No I'm not." Ana said stubbornly, while letting out deep breaths.

"Don't act so stubborn." Christian replied, and shook his head.

"OK, let's spar for a couple of minutes. Then I can stop." She suggested, while wiping away the sweat on her neck with a towel.

As he watched her doing that movement, Christian's eyes landed on her neck. He then swallowed, and shook off the thought that came to his mind." No, you've done enough sparring for the day." he countered, his face stern.

"Are you tired, old man?" Ana teased, while a smile graced her gorgeous face.

"You must be kidding. Are you challenging me, Miss Steele?" he teased back, as he took a fighting stance.

"Don't call me that. You know what my name is."

"Yes, it's MISS Steele. Right?" he said, as they both moved around.

"Oh, you're so dead, mister" Ana warned, and narrowed her pretty, blue eyes.

She charged at Christian, and of course he anticipated her first attack. Well, he _was_ her teacher after all. After ten minutes, laughter was heard coming from the 'gym'. Ana had taken the opportunity to kick him in his stomach.

"Yes." She celebrated, but then he took that opportunity and they fought harder, literally taking Ana's breath away.

He was charging at her, and she knew what he had taught her, knew how to avoid that specific attack.

"Strike two" Ana said triumphantly, while locking eyes with him.

"One more" he replied, and wiped away the sweat from his forehead.

"Christian." Ana said, while moving around, her hands into fists.

"Yes, miss Steele?" he said on purpose.

"When are you going to meet up with your sister?" Ana asked, and then stood still, her breathing shallow.

He instantly stopped too, and gave her an unforgiving look.

"Oh come, on… she went by the studio a week ago, asking for you." Ana told him." From what I've heard, your mom wants to see you too. She misses you, Christian…"

"I'm done." He said, and grabbed the bottle of water, and towel." We're going home… now"

"She told me you've got your own place?" Ana asked, and that's when he glared at her.

"You want me to leave?" he said, and shook his head.

"That's not what I said Christian, and absolutely not what I want" Ana said, and grabbed him by his wrist." I'm just wondering why you would choose sleeping on my couch, when you've got your own luxurious place in the City…"

He clenched his jaw, and then gave her that frightening look.

"Please, don't look at me like that, Christian" Ana said, and cupped his face with one hand, making her heart melt, when she noticed that he didn't flinch like before." I'm so thankful with everything that you've done for me… I hope you know that. But, like I said I want to return the favor, Christian… let me help"

"I don't need help" he simply said, his walls up again." Why don't you focus on your art exhibition?"

"It's next week, and I'm almost done with my pieces." She said, and gave him an appreciative look." Thanks to you. Because you've given me back my inspiration…"

Right now Christian was being defensive, and wanted to shut her out by building those 'walls' around him. However, Ana had discovered that those damned 'walls' already had cracks at certain places.

"Why are you pushing your family away, Christian?" Ana asked, and looked him straight in the eyes.

He let out a deep breath and rolled his eyes." You're so nosy, MISS Steele." Christian told her, and placed a hand over hers.

(her hand that was still on his cheek)

"And you are so generous." Ana countered, while her lips curled upwards into a smile.

"What are you talking about?"

"I know you donated money to my neighbors…" Ana said, her eyes twinkling like stars." They are looking to buy a new home. Maggie told me about it last week"

"I didn't donate money to strangers…" he lied, but she saw right through him.

Ana knew his tells.

"Good thing my studio only had partial water damage." She said." If not, I bet I would've received a huge donation from an anonymous person too"

At hearing that, Christian couldn't keep a straight face any longer, and smiled.

"Well, there it is..." She said." You need to smile more often."

Christian shook his head, and said." We need to go, Ana.. it's getting really late"

She sighed aloud, and looked at him." OK… tomorrow's a brand new day." Ana countered, and grabbed her towel. Then she turned her face, and locked eyes with him." And… we will continue this conversation"

Christian had refused talking about his trauma, and didn't want to meet up with his family. 'He wasn't ready to do those things yet.' She realized, and didn't want to push things further.

If so, he might close himself off completely… even to her.

So, she decided to let it rest… for now.

As they walked out the studio, Ana had a content look on her face.

She had a plan to help him with his PTSD. Ana had already made arrangements for it.

It was something simple, and yet she believed it could help Christian with his healing process.

"Are you OK?" She heard him say, taking her out of her wonderful thoughts.

Ana smiled, and continued walking towards her apartment." YES, yes I am, Christian… I've never been better…"

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Note: Thank you so much for reading my work and the wonderful reviews. :)

 **Can you leave me a review for this chapter? ;)**

Till the next one,

J


	13. The surprise

**.**

 **The surprise**

xxx [[[ ]]] xxx

* * *

...

The next day, Ana continued with the last pieces. She was very content, because everything seem to go well in her life at the moment.

Apart from the fire, everything seem to go smoothly, including all that she had planned for the art exhibition. The catering was already taken care of, and also, she and the decorator finally have agreed on the decorations of her studio. There was going to be a bar too.

Ana was busy with one of the last paintings, while a wide smile graced her gorgeous face. It was then, when Christian walked in with lunch.

"I smell something good…" she pointed out, and looked at Christian." Is it pie?"

He nodded in response." Yes, it's pie…"

"My favorite?" Ana questioned, and smiled at him.

"Indeed it is…"

It was then, when she realized that he was acting all broody. Without hesitation, she placed her brush on the work table, and got up.

"Christian, what's the matter?"

He continued placing their lunch on two plates, and avoided eye contact with Ana." Nothing"

She closed the gap between them, and stood across from him." Seriously?" she said, and raised an eye brow." There's nothing wrong? Why don't you look at me then?"

He let out a deep breath, and locked eyes with her, still setting up their lunch.

Ana shook her head at that." This morning you were in a good mood, Christian" she said, and then stopped him from doing his task by placing a hand on his." Well, as good as YOU can have… honestly, right now you're just extra moody"

Christian relaxed after a few moments, accepting her touch. He wasn't used to people touching him anymore. But, he tolerated Ana's…

"You're not gonna let this go, are you?" he asked.

She shook her head." Of course not"

"I met Mia today" He confessed with a frown on his face. He seemed to be very displeased.

Ana cleared her throat in response." Seriously? Where?"

"At the diner… how does she know I like the food there?" He questioned, and gave Ana an accusing look." Did you tell her about it?"

There it was again… he was looking at her like he used to, when they first met. Christian was staring at her with those cold, piercing, unforgiving gray eyes… Whenever he did that, she wanted nothing more than wish for the earth to swallow her whole.

In response, Ana took in a deep breath." Well, like I said yesterday, your sister called the studio last week…" she explained, and looked at him pleadingly." But it really wasn't my intention to give it away, but I guess it slipped out…"

"Why would you do that?!" he said, his voice loud." I told you that I don't want to see her, didn't I?"

"I know… I'm sorry, OK? But, she was so desperate, Christian! She was worried about you"

He shook his head in response." Was she now? That still doesn't give you the right!" he snapped with venom in his voice." You know what… after your art exhibition, when your father has returned from his business trip, I'm going back home…"

As she observed him, Ana felt her heart drop inside her chest. He was REALLY, like seriously pissed at her!

"I'm sorry, OK?" She said, and that's when he tore his arm from her hold.

"I need some fresh air… you must eat." Was what he said, and then left Ana's 'sanctuary'.

"Wait! Chris… " she tried, but he was gone in a flash.

As tears pooled in her eyes, Ana felt so awful and guilty about what happened. Right now, she really could clobber herself! She knew it! She knew that he wasn't ready. Last evening she made the assessment of his situation, and she concluded that Christian wasn't ready to talk about his trauma or meet up with his family.

But, little did she know that Mia had planned on looking for her brother today…

How can she make things right between them?

.

.

 ** _( xxxxx) Hours later_**

.

It was late at night, when Ana silently walked into her apartment building. She was smiling from ear to ear, almost wanting to jump up from excitement.

'Stop it!' she scolded herself.' You don't know how he will react.'

After what happened that afternoon between her and Christian, she just needed to fix things. She appreciated everything that he had done for her, and wanted nothing than to help him.

As the elevator moved up, Ana couldn't help having that huge grin on her face. She moved heaven and earth trying to get this surprise for Christian. She even drove two and a half hours, and she almost wasn't successful. But fortunately, faith decided otherwise and here she was with something precious in her arms.

The moment she stepped into the hallway, Ana felt her heart pound inside her chest.

Will Christian be thrilled? Will he be mad? She wasn't sure.

Ana opened her apartment door, and searched for him. Usually, Christian would follow her like a shadow, but this was supposed to be a surprise. So, she had convinced him earlier that she had to attend a meeting with a high profile client.

" _I'll be fine, Christian" she had told him." I will go with Sean"_

" _OK… he can be trusted." He countered._

" _See you tonight?" Ana said._

" _Are you sure that I shouldn't go along with you?" he had asked and gave her a worried look._

 _Even after Ana had angered him about the 'Mia encounter', Christian was still so concerned about her well-being._

 _He was a true friend… one she never wanted to lose._

And now here she was, hoping that this could help him overcome his PTSD.

"Christian? Are you up?" she said, her voice sounding so loud in her own ears.

It was _that_ quiet in her apartment.

"I'm in here, Miss…" she heard him say.

Ana rolled her eyes, still finding it annoying, when Christian didn't call her by her first name.

She carefully placed 'the surprise' on the couch. Ana then followed his voice, and in her excitement, practically ran into him!

"Ouch!" the both of them exclaimed, as they collided.

She looked up at him, and said." Sorry… are you hurt?"

He shook his head at that." Nahh… are you?"

"No" Ana replied, and all of a sudden began to burst out into laughter.

As he watched her face light up, Christian couldn't help but join in.

"Why were you in such a hurry?" he asked, and that's when they both heard a noise from the living room.

Christian tilted his head, and gave Ana a questioning look." What in the…?"

"Oh, I've got a surprise for you" She said, and grabbed him by the hand.

She dragged him to the living room, and when their eyes landed on 'the surprise', they continued their contagious laughter.

Yes, it was a puppy! She was 12 weeks old, and there she sat, in the middle of the room, looking up at Ana and Christian with her innocent, brown eyes.

She then wagged her tail, and barked cutely at the two of them.

(There was a pile of poop in the middle of the living room BTW)

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 **Note: Thank you so much for reading and your feedback.**

 **Till the next one,**

 **J**


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